After two challenging, intense and beautiful months of volunteering in Idomeni, we were burned out. We both didn't feel like we where a good help anymore, and therefore it didn't make sense to stay. Lena just felt like walking and I just felt like swimming. So we went to an island with mountains and blue beaches.

Cyprus was warm and a good snorkeling place, but it felt like we where in between things. Not boring, just empty inside. In the new perspective many things seemed meaningless, and talking about the future didn't bring the excitement it used to. We both needed to recharge and think about nothing, or what ever popped up, after having been suppressed in the busy volunteering environment. Not so long before we moved on, by jumping all the way to Nepal, I wrote a letter home. Here is some of the things I wrote:

Letter to Home

We are the only one by the morning pool, except a Russian grandmother and a boy who is playing as good as he can alone, with his Mickey Mouse ball. I feel a little bit that I should join his game, or at least give him some of the good silly attention, that always gave me positive response from the Syrian youngsters, in Greece. But now I have paid to relax. And I need the energy for my walking on.

The kids in the refugee camp were amazing. So open, funny, brave and curious. Some of the parents seemed a what I'm used to, but their children looked much happier than the ones I see in the rich cities of Europe. Now I always feel bad for the unsatisfied screamers, that have everything I can see in the supermarket.

In my contact with the fleeing Arabic people, I often felt very happy to be exactly me, and exactly where I was. A tickling and warm feeling of love. Aimed at them, but felt in me. I would like to feel that towards all people, and not only the ones that I think need an extra smile, because of their shit situation or loss and heavy memories.
I guess I will reach that state when I'm done thinking about my self, and all my homemade problems and needs, all the time. But that's okay. I feel relaxed and confident that I'm going in a good direction.

Before I thought that I already knew what would be good for me. Like I already had an idea of what would mature me. I wanted to develop, but in the way that I thought would be good. The undeveloped me. I almost already knew who I wanted to become. But do I even know who I am? Maybe I should start there.
And the chance of becoming better is always there. I just need to pull myself together. The secret is not in any old book, it is in my hands. 
Next chapter is called Nepal and let's see what doors it might open.

We are still on the road.

Follow the ongoing journey and check out our music and art on A NEW KIND OF HOME

Published by Lena and William Sikker