I never knew what my name was but everyone called me Tsukikami. I was born from people's wishes. Tears created who I am...or what I am... Every time I wake up, I could hear their prayers every single day. But now I am merely...nothing. Waiting until the day I'll be forgotten. Forever...until the day she is gone...

It started when I was born. A small glowing ball of light that took no form but a mere essence just floating there. All confused and overwhelmed by the voices I heard. They were all in my head. Tears of sadness that engulfed my soul. Tears pleading for mercy from the beings above. And tears of joy when their wishes were finally granted.

When I finally took form, slowly one by one, the voices disappeared...but one. She was the most beautiful creature I've ever seen from the day I set my eyes on her. The day I saw her smile was the day she imprinted on me. A little girl kneeling in front of me, with the widest grin on her face. Her eyes closed. Hands clasped against each other like all the other humans who came upon my tree.

When I heard her little voice, it was like seeing the light for the first time. That feeling you get when you feel the nice warm heat from the sun on your face.

Everyday she came to play. Laughing and giggling as she and the village girls and boys chased each other around. I never stop looking at her and by the time I realized it, she was already a woman. Tall and beautiful, sitting in front of me like she always did. Wishing to meet a nice young man who would take care of her, build a home with her, and grow old together.

I felt envious of this man to whom she was wishing for but knew that I would never be with her. Even if I may never, I couldn't resist the moment my hand touched her soft and lush cheek. Her beautiful brown eyes stared right into mine. Her smile that had always brought joy to me was smiling right at me. I couldn't help but smile back. I loved that little dimple on her right cheek that appeared whenever she smiled.

"Tsuki...kami?" Her beautiful voice broke the silence before I realized she could see me. I quickly drew my hand back as she blinked with confusion as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Tsukikami? Was that really you?" She called to me but I refused to reply. I wasn't thinking straight when I had the urge to touch her. Even if I wanted to, I know it wasn't right. I am not suppose to touch them or let them see me. I should never have done that. What was I thinking?

"You have beautiful eyes," she said as I turned to look at her searching face. "It was as beautiful as the moon."

I didn't know what was going on but my chest and stomach felt like they were being strangled. It was as if someone was squeezing my insides out. I could feel my face becoming hotter as I continued to stare at this beautiful woman glancing around to see if she could see me again, even if it was just for a second.

"Thank you," she closed her eye and said the last of her prayers.

"Thank you for finally letting me see you Tsukikami-sama. I always knew you were real." Her words sent flutters into my chest.

She got up and glanced around one last time before turning to leave. The wind blew across her small silhouette as I picked up her scent of flowers before she disappeared down the trail after the setting sun. A smell that brought back many memories from the day I met her until now.

From that day on, she came and sat by the tree every evening, telling me her stories of going to the sea with her father, picking medicine up in the mountains with her mother, and seeing her sister get married to her true love. She wished the same but never got the chance to actually meet any men she was interested in.

"I kind of wish it was you," she laughed one time. Making a joke about it but it made me smile.

So did I.

"I think I saw you once before. When I was four. You were standing right here looking at us playing around but I just thought you were some guy in the village. I thought it was strange when I never saw you again. But after seeing you so clearly that one time, I finally realized it. You're not human but a God."

A God? Me?

"You are Tsukikami-sama, the God who saved this village from the drought a very long time ago. Actually, about 1,000 years ago and I wanted to thank you for saving this village. You brought the rain back. The crops and trees started to grow back. The animals came back home and now we have plenty of food and water."

"And you," I said, though she couldn't hear me unless I let her but she turned towards my direction anyways which made me second-think if she had heard me that time but instead she just smiled.

"Thank you for letting me see you again. You were beautiful."

And so are you.

...

A week after that evening, I never saw her again.

...

I was getting weaker and I could feel it inside my very essence. Less and less knew about my existence and less and less came to pray upon my tree. The fewer humans who believed in my existence, the weaker my energy became and the smaller I will get until I finally fade out as if I never existed. The voices disappeared slowly, one by one...but hers.

She came to visit me one last time after years of being away. Married to a nice man who gave her a home and two children. A handsome boy and a beautiful girl who looked just like her.

When I saw her again, her beautiful dark brown hair had turned a white-gray but her smile was still as beautiful as ever. She said her goodbyes, knowing she would never come again with her current condition. By then she was taller than me. She looked like a giant hovering over me while I stared up at her beautiful face one last time. I knew then that I was never going to see her again.

I sat under my tree gazing up at the full moon. I could feel her  energy within me. The last one who still believed in my very existence; until she breathed her last breath and light enveloped me.

 

By: Yer Vang

 

*You can also check my story at my personal blog Dream Fantasy Magnolia.*

Published by Yer Vang