Let me just clear the air.

It's tough to finally release but here goes because I can't hold on much longer.

My hands are redder than my lungs and I feel myself losing the image in the mirror that I used to be proud of.

I'm all choked up but I can hear myself breathing through the channels of my veins that I've opened up when I tried to tell you how I feel but like clogged arteries all you hear is a slight cough and you just giggle.

It blows by like a breeze during the spring I first felt it.

I can't ever let you read this or else you'll think I'm not the person that stood by you all those days.

That's either the most fucked up part or the best part.

I can't tell. It's all gray but that's not something I'm a stranger to.

You see, it's hard to wrap up my heart and give it to you because the last person I gave it to took the ribbon and suffocated me.

She lied through her teeth and spit out venom and somehow I thought it was antidote to the sleepless nights after my best friend passed away.

Love is the best villain of them all because even during the day it's capable of showing its fangs with a knife to your back and you'll still chase it.

It's cancerous or beautiful depending on who diagnoses you.

And right now, I feel like I have only days to live. Risks are taken by those who know the reward is worth the freefall of emotions as one splashes down into the abyss praying that her hands catch you before the heartbreak does.

What did you do to me?

Was it something I did?

Or were you always meant to walk in when the door was only slightly cracked open to let the breeze in?

Are you the one or are you the lesson?

Did you open the door or are you the breeze?

And even after all of this, I'm still wishing that at the end it's you.