This morning introduced another dreary, gloomy, thunderous day. Strong sleepy and low energy vibes. I didn’t really want to get out of bed, but was glad I did when I sank into my luxurious meditation time. The dogs were going wild, barking at passersby, and Tempe was huffing and puffing, sniffing so hard through the door. I remained unresponsive and at peace.

 

My night of sleep was rich and deep. I performed yoga nidra before bed, and dissociated completely.

 

Morning weigh in: 116.8 poinds, down another .8 pound for 11.8 pounds weight loss total. All my pants are fitting so much more comfortably and ideally, hooray! I feel confident in my clothes, and fashion has become fun again, rather than a dreaded experience of what fits or doesn’t fit.

 

Physically, I feel good, but weak and tired. I’m having some pain in my lower right ribs and low and mid back.

 

During my manifesting with love visualization, I experienced a lot of positive energy surrounding my family and deep healing with regard to where we stand. I feel tremendous hope for the future.

 

I received a rejection email from Basalt, CO Whole Foods for the cashier position. Not meant to be. I am totally in acceptance. Like I’ve said, I feel like I need to stick it out in my hometown, get grounded and rooted, begin generating income from self-employment, and pass through a critical threshold of emotional and spiritual healing before I think about moving anywhere else. I need to finish my unfinished business here. I feel that my deceased Grandma is so proud of me for being here and staying. I feel her support in my heartspace.

 

I took a couple hours to run errands. Driving around seems fairly effortless while fasting, thankfully. I dropped off my Comcast cable box, as I switched from cable and internet to just internet since I do not use cable. A few months back, they led me to believe both services were the same price. Not so!

 

I distributed more Medicaid flyers around town, and picked up the keys and garage door opener to the Colorado family home. I wanted to see my dad, but he’d already left for lunch. Not meant to see him today apparently! That’s the universe sending a clear message. I trust that we will connect in due time.

 

I went home, vacuumed up a ton of dog hair, and took the pups for a walk. Afterwards, I headed over to the local health food store and got a throat chakra oil and a higher quality lavender-almond massage oil that they did not have the other day. The other oil is peanut-oil based, which I don’t like, and the lavender is really mild to nonexistent in it. I think I will be much happier with this product. I connected with the employees there and made plans to start going to yoga with one of the girls. Opening my heart is the key to connection manifestation. Going to the health food store a few times a week really restores me, and will be an ongoing part of my self-care. Such positive vibes!

 

I also took time to read Al-anon literature and to get closer to God. This quote really spoke to me, “Knowing that only complete honesty will bring me to self-understanding, I pray that my Higher Power will help me guard against deceiving myself.”

 

I realized that for some people spiritual fasting entails reading bible verses, but for me, my sacred texts of the moment come in the form of recovery literature. I’ve found these books to be quite nourishing to my soul and spirit.

 

I followed up my health coaching module with some self-study to determine my expectation style. According to Gretchen Rubin’s quiz, I’m an upholder. I meet both outer (e.g. work, school, family, etc.) and inner expectations (e.g. self-care, how I look and feel, how I spend my time). I wasn't sure where I was going to land, because I definitely have traits of all four types. I think I'm an upholder when I'm at my best, and my level of self-care and self-love is really high. When I meet my inner expectations, it's easy to meet outer expectations too. I also tend to panic when expectations aren't clear, especially when I was in Hawaii living in the raw vegan community for free. I was unsure of what I was supposed to do to contribute due to a complete lack of and strong resistance to structure and order in the community.

 

Ah, I applied the essential oils I bought today, and they are intoxicating. I feel like I am floating when I walk around. It is glorious!

 

I had a lovely evening. I left work around 3:45, and headed to the local Aveda Salon. I immediately recognized the owner who had owned the salon I went to while in high school. Funny enough, I had been one of their models for their fashion, make-up, and hair shows. Memory lane! The experience was awesome, and I had a beauty and detox treatment applied to my hair and scalp. She used way more products than I normally use (a bar of hair soap like once a week, lol), but I embraced the change in the name of pampering! We connected, and it turns out she is also a writer and has a creative writing group, which she invited me to join. Being a part of a creative writing group was one of my intentions in moving to Monroe, and now I have manifested it! Amazing what happens when you open your heart to people!

 

In the nick of time, I made it to the Al-Anon meeting. We shared a powerful meeting about gratitude. I received much inspiration and ideas on how to cultivate gratitude, like sharing gratitude according to the ABCs with a group text message. One person texts that they are grateful for Al-Anon or Allie (shout out to my Aussie love!), for example, and the other person returns the text with another a-word they are grateful for.

 

Afterwards, I enjoyed more heart connection with the fellowship, who reflected to me how I am lighting up. When I came in, I had so many walls up and was not really open to receiving the love, support, acceptance, and community being offered to me, but now I am embracing it wholeheartedly and understand that this is a safe group of people who get me and share the common goal of serenity and sacred fellowship.

 

I went home and packed for my trip. It’s supposed to snow! I guess I will be getting my winter wonderland after all. We shall see.

 

More self-care ensued: I treated myself to the first aromatherapy bath in a long time. I scrubbed my tub and filled it with hot water, a mixture of Dr. Bronner’s soaps, and lavender essential oils. It was magnificent! I can’t believe what I have been missing all these months! I then used my lavender-almond oil blend to moisturize, and feel like a fresh little queen.

 

I feel very good about the trip tomorrow. I’m excited to connect and travel with my friend and enjoy her compassionate company, fun-loving spirit, and support throughout the experience. I really don’t know what to expect, and am staying open. By using the tools I’ve developed to stay centered, I trust that I will have the positive, healing, and transformative experience that God wants me to have.

 

Thank you for reading! Please be sure to check out my posts on my previous 28-day fastDay 1Day 2Day 3Day 4Day 5Day 6Day 7Day 8Day 9Day 10, and Day 11!

 

 

Published by Taylor Norris