Last night, I had a nightmare about my mom, a very common phenomenon for me, especially in my youth. Awakening in fear, I sealed my field and prayed for good dreams. The rest of the night my prayers were answered with sweet dreams and no further disturbances.

 

I guess the nightmares were in response to the questionable energy and experience of the block party, as being around lots of booze and smoke can be triggering for my subconscious. Oh well. I solved the problem with spirit’s help.

 

I let myself sleep in as late as I wanted this morning until around 8am, and laid in bed another hour in quiet meditation on my back with an eye pillow covering my eyes.

 

Morning weigh in: 111.4 pounds. Wow! After one day of no change, the rate of loss accelerated. Weird how that happens. Just trust the process.

 

I walked the dogs in the sunshine, and felt good about the day.

 

I spent the morning at women's recovery retreat inside a freezing cold room of the annex building of a church. I enjoyed holding space with lots of familiar faces at the event, and I'm definitely grateful to have attended and expanded.

 

I connected with a woman who is bulimic and spoke to her about a local OA meeting! She hasn’t been in a while, and is open to seeing if it’s still going on. If not, we’ll start one!

 

I also connected with my ACA sponsor and am amped up to start working that program together. I'm excited to get to know her more!

 

I went to the local health food store during lunch. The recovery retreat only had regular coffee, and I needed some hot tea! I scored a couple bags of chaga tea, as I am definitely feeling drawn to the grounding mushrooms.

 

I chatted with my friend there and opened up to her about my fast and my intention to be fully organic when I break it. She was totally supportive. Even though I wasn't speaking to her, another woman chimed in about how unhealthy water fasting is. Ugh, the very reason I am reluctant to share that I am fasting with others! That’s why I only tell trusted individuals in private conversation, but clearly our privacy was not being respected! I basically brushed off the other woman’s comment, as I was not looking for unsolicited advice, especially from someone I don't know, who wasn't even in the conversation.

 

My friend and I chatted on amicably about the local farmers markets that are about to get started. I was happy to see that the store has organic watermelon and cucumbers, which are the foods I plan to refeed with.

 

The second half of the recovery retreat was really powerful! I am learning that I actually know who I am these days...on balance! The good and the bad. It's amazing to feel grounded in myself after years of uncertainty about where I ended and others began. That’s the craziness and boundary blurring of codependency for ya!

 

After the retreat, I felt tired. I managed to pack myself and the dogs up in the car, and rode over to a nearby neighborhood that has a fenced yard. I rigged it so my dogs couldn’t escape, as the geniuses who built the park made it so that the gates don’t close. Wha??! We enjoyed the sunshine, and I laid out in the grass in my bikini to soak in some precious vitamin D!

 

I noticed today that my food thoughts have changed from unhealthy foods to yummy, nutritious foods. Lots of food thoughts about watermelon, tomatoes, cukes, zucchini, bell peppers, and lettuce. Cravings I am proud to have!

 

In the evening, I watched an episode of the cancer documentary, did an enema, showered, and got all set for sweet dreams and lullabies.

 

I was filled with gratitude for the fellowship. Continued growth and healing in 12-step programs. Grateful to reconnect with a dear friend from Woodstock and her kindred spirit. Grateful for the pups. For a good shower. For sunbathing and letting the puppies enjoy the yard. Grateful for God’s support in this fast. For a fresh start and chance to begin anew. Grateful to detox all the pesticides and insecticides out as well as the cooked and processed foods I was eating. Grateful for all the wonderful mental nutrition in the podcasts and cancer documentary. So much to learn in the world! Grateful to be alive and safe.

 

May all beings be happy, healthy, whole, safe, free from suffering, and at peace.

 

Thank you for reading! Please be sure to check out my posts on my previous 28-day fastDay 1Day 2Day 3Day 4Day 5Day 6Day 7Day 8Day 9Day 10Day 11Day 12Days 13-17Day 18Day 19, and Day 20!

Published by Taylor Norris