I carried myself upto college one day and enjoyed myself in a complete stranger's manner. I knew it wasn't me but I realised I could also become her. I turned myself into a museum of giggles and not-so-interesting stories and was self-consciously reading more of me than the figure I was bonding with. I always knew I needed it just as I knew I will soon get tired of it, very quickly. yet the only surprise difference was I chose to deluge myself over it for a longer period. turned out, it wasn't so awkward after all.

I discovered it a long time ago that the need and search for whatever human interactions I had was a symptom of some sickness I had; solitude and lack of communication. but you know something's are just not for you, no matter how much you give of yourself.

next day I attend an event to surprisingly find that it's no more yesterday or the day-before-yesterday and countless things have changed, people have unbecome a lot of selves they were the day before and I comfortably went back to being the person I always were, bathing in the discontent of all things existing and sniggering at the mock humans and their plastic feelings. but I don't blame them, not even slightly. at least they know the art I don't know. sometimes it overwhelms me, the sight of these creatures and their effortless behaviour.

I don't hate anybody either. I know how so many she's and he's are trying as much as I am and someday even more. and what all I see of them is just not all that they really are because I have witnessed a thousand sadness under my friend's laughing face, an embracing heart behind that scornful mannerism, a loving soul wrapped under that hating eyes and some rudeness over her kindness. you just keep seeing things every moment if you chose to. please do.

this world is constantly moving and with it we are all too, becoming and unbecoming so many selves. should we not then stop being hard with self and the others and learn that hating yourself is as easy as breathing but it takes a skip of heartbeat to have the courage to look up at yourself and the world around you, just a simple understanding and raw acceptance that after all we are all just equally vulnerable and trying to fit in.

Published by Aisu Minam.