So the eve of the NSAA - the admissions test for cambridge. This whole process confuses me in all honesty. I've had friends who were brilliant at their subjects, one kid had gotten best in his year in every single subject he took but still didn't get in, the other had been best in the year in the only subjects that mattered. They all applied for engineering and all got knocked down. I'm semi convinced the only differentiator is the entrance test, that's the only thing that changed last year and got way more people from my school in than normal. This test is important sure, a set of 9s (ie the highest grade) helps me greatly and I'm sure they're within my reach. What I think freaks me out is that potentially I won't have a chance of getting full marks, not to be big headed but with the preparation I do I've never really walked into a test thinking I couldn't get the 100, i rarely do but it isn't a case of not knowing things, just small little refinements. There is a chance I just get totally flummoxed but honestly I doubt that, I'm eating good, supplementing and sleeping well. I've had 2 friends drop out of the whole oxbridge thing and I'm honestly not sure why. My rationale on dropping out of things is that your justifications are always so convincing you should just stay on the original path because your previous self presumably made a good decision in choosing it. This whole process seems like an awful exertion, to first do the tests and get a chance of applying, this admissions test and then an interview (hopefully) before not stuffing your exams enough to actually get in. It's an exertion, and it'll be a probably gruelling 3 years but I've talked about how I want to live under constant pressure and being forced to adapt rather than just living comfortably because I don't think that would be something I'd enjoy. This isn't the most consequential test I've ever taken, nor honestly the hardest and I think I've done all I can. I'm excited about it frankly, it's a nice test of wits and its just the next step. Having an 80% or so interview rate I'm pretty guaranteed an interview but this is the nice little cherry on top, too much pressure is annoying but I think I have a nice way of thinking about these things now. The good old redbeard "care the most but also care the least" or however he nicely puts it.

Published by Kevin Li