What does it mean to be you?

It all started out as a game where everybody in the group calls out a number and based on the question that is tagged to the number, we have to answer it truthfully. 

"What is your 5 biggest fear?" C asked.

"The first is not to be able to achieve what I set out to achieve. The second is losing my identity." I replied her while making eye contact with the rest of my friends.

C questioned, "What do you mean by identity? What does it mean to be you?"

That question shocked the living daylights out of me. I have not thought about that ever since I was born into this world of diversity. 

"Give me a minute," I replied, "Let me go to the washroom first and I'll get back to your question."

As I was in the bathroom, I silently thought to myself. What does it mean to be me? What qualities do I associated with myself, who do I want to be that makes me shiver in fear should I lose these qualities?

Then, I had my answer.

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How do you define identity? If you go together with the definition of wikipedia, identity in psychology represents your beliefs, personality and qualities that makes you, you. 

Or if you prefer definitions from an actual dictionary, an identity is the condition of being oneself or itself. This is lifted off from Dictionary.com.

If I were to define identity, I would list out qualities I see myself having.

But, why is it so important for us to know who we are?

In this world where diversity is rampant and that the wide array of variations in our genetic codes plays a role in making us a unique individual, it is of importance to make your own identity. Your person identity is what makes you stands out from the crowd, the endless ocean of people.

I am sure you would not want to end up like a robot, indifferent from the majority and has nothing special that makes your existence questionable. 

You may not have found or discovered yourself yet. That should not trigger any huge amounts of distress. People spent their entire lives trying to build themselves, to figure out who they are. And when they do, they become successful. Not just financially successful, but in life as general.

The progress of developing your own identity has to start from your own innate desire. 

Life is such an irony. People gave up on their own identities and try to fit in. Learning sociology will provide a great understanding to human behavioral patterns in a social setting and why people always want to be validated and accepted by others. This phenonium is known as social conditioning, where we act in certain ways to get approval from others.

The bespectacled kid you always called nerd? What about the girl that was acting weirdly at the bus stop you saw just now? Or how this guy was constantly getting into trouble? Simple. They display attitudes and actions which the society condemns, which the society is not opened to these concepts. 

Sometimes, fitting in comes at a price - higher stress levels, feelings of worthlessness, tiredness. 

Do you feel tired trying to fit into your group of friends who are always criticizing others? What about feeling guilty after you tripped the older elderly because your group of friends despises him?

If you feel constrained, or against what you are, listen. Listen to what your mind and heart are telling you. Follow your inner-self and master those good qualities that represent you - for you are one special person. You have traits, you have a combination that does not exist anywhere on this Earth. 

You are unique.

Embrace yourself for who you are, and you will be able to grow and develop into the person you would like to be, and into a person that would serve the world a greater good.

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For me, I am someone who is knowledgeable, competent in everything I do, and someone whom people can trust their work and lives to (especially in the healthcare field).

This is how I define myself.

And I hope you will be able to do that too.

Published by Lucius