Today I am busing up to my nana’s from Wellington so that I can stay the night there and then head up to the Coromandel Peninsula tomorrow arvo. Except whilst I’m stuck on a bus in the middle of the Waikato, my family is currently at Auckland Airport getting ready to board a flight to Rarotonga for a week long holiday. First world problem right? It’s not the holiday intensity that I’m upset about, they could be heading down south for all I cared, its the fact that I’m missing out. That I can’t be a part of it, and what makes it worse is this is my little sisters first time overseas and I can’t be there.


When you leave home, nobody tells you about the things you miss out on. The sacrifices you have to make because it’s now you against the world - no matter how much your family has your back. The reality is, I could have very easily been at the airport right now too but financially I wasn’t able to be because I needed a new laptop for uni. I had to be the one to make that call on not to go because a holiday was a luxury and I needed a new laptop.


But it’s not just the holiday. You have to learn and adapt to hearing the things your not a part of because you just physically can not be there. By no means do you not want to be there, you just can’t. It’s been one of the most hardest things to deal with leaving home this year. I’m no longer the first one to be there for news with my family, I’m not a part of the memories they have made in the time I’ve been away; nor have they been a part of mine.


To be given a heads up on how heartbreaking it can be to not live life with your family couldn’t prepare you. It’s something you have to learn, and I still am after being away from home for six months, and calling my mom at least once a day for the entire time I’ve been gone. 


The biggest thing that nobody tells you? How much you learn to appreciate time, memories, and moments that you get to be a part of with your family. Because those are what you hold onto the most when your no longer there

Published by Kyla McLean