What will it take for you to be okay? To feel content? To be at peace? To love yourself as you were, as you are, and as you become more? When will you wake up and decide to come alive in your story? When will you forgive yourself for not being who you think you should be, and just embrace who you are? How can we help you in this journey of healing and becoming whole?

 

You wake up every day feeling like you are lacking in one way or another. You fall asleep every night dreading the day to come. You’ve been living so long like this that it’s brutally hard to change, to ask for help, to leave that darkness behind and choose better.

 

You are in pain. You, my beautiful friend are in a lot of pain and you need to know it’s okay to admit that to yourself and the people around you. You don’t need to be ashamed of your pain. You don’t need to feel like you should be better when you are hurting inside. That pain will you eat you alive the longer you try to hide it or deal with it in a destructive way. Pain is not your enemy. Pain is a warning sign that there is something you need to pay attention to, pain is a symbol at times of progress and growth, and other times pain is a part of the grieving process. Pain is so many things, and none of those are ones you need to be ashamed of. Your pain, your tears, your confusion, your frustration – your hurt is important. 

 

How you do or do not feel always matters. You don’t have to face it alone. We all need each other. Healing and mending are collaborative processes. We just have to find the right community for us. A safe place we can rest our weary souls. A warm place with people we can open our hearts to. We have to seek community out. We have to let people know we need them beside us. They can’t hear us in our silence. They can’t read our minds. We need to signal for help. We need to let them know we are struggling. 

 

That requires vulnerability; we have to reach out our hands, speak our minds, and show our scars to another human being. That can be absolutely terrifying for a lot us especially when we are afraid of being rejected or condemned by people. I hope there is at least one person in your life that you know loves you unconditionally, and even though you are scared I hope you will talk to them and let them be with you in your dark times. Let them bring some light and hope and community into your life. If for some reason, there is no one you can talk to among your friends and family look for local organizations, networks, groups, and even professional counseling. Find your safe place. Find your people. They are out there. They need you as much as you need them.

 

Help is available in one form or another. It might take some time, but be willing to seek it out. Healing is not an easy process. What you are struggling with requires love, patience, and time. 

 

Be gentle with yourself. Be patient with yourself in the process of healing. Be loving even when it is hard to love yourself. Speak words of encouragement and let them find a home in your heart. Let people be there for you like you’ve been there for them. Most importantly, don’t give up!

 

Healing is one breath, one step, and one day at time.