We are week 2 into summer and I’ve already had a nervous breakdown. How many more weeks till they go back to school? 

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. But they are hoarders in training. It’s like they spent time in a Military inspired boot camp that teaches teens to torture their moms with clutter and chaos. It’s a losing battle. And I’m waving my white flag. 

Yesterday I spent four hours cleaning out a closet, two sets of dressers full of clothes and under two beds. I threw out 2 large trash bags of trash (literal trash like gum wrappers, drink bottles, screws, tissues and many more unidentifiable objects). I also donated 2 huge black hefty bags of clothes to charity. A quarter of those clothes don’t even belong to my kids!

As I sat there in the middle of the room surrounded by all this stuff, I realized my kid’s room was the portal to hell. I felt like I was in the Poltergeist movie and kept looking for the light to run to. Not even exaggerating. 

But I did it. I got it all cleaned and organized. I lost my shit a couple of times but it’s all good. I threatened 1 & 2. It better stay clean and organized or I’ll sell them to pirates who eat teenagers. I swear it. 

I woke up this morning stiff and sore. So if you see me out and about, just ignore the smell of Ben-Gay. I’ll live. Hopefully so will 1 & 2.  

Published by Midlife Margaritas