"How are you?" "Tired."

It’s not a lie. I am tired. But it’s a different kind of tired than what most people know. It’s a fatigue that wears you out from the inside. It’s the kind of tired that a few hours of sleep cannot fix. With a good night of sleep, the tiredness goes away for most people. But not for me.

It’s not just physical exhaustion. Being merely physically exhausted would be a vacation for me. I am mentally, emotionally, and physically inexplicably exhausted. It gets worse on some days, and I don’t even have the energy to get out of bed because I’m too tired. It doesn’t matter if I’ve slept for over 12 hours. The exhaustion just doesn’t go away.

But what am I tired of, anyway? Everything, and nothing, all at once. Tired of social interaction, tired of school, tired of work, tired of emotions, tired of pills, tired of being tired.

And a thought emerges in my head - maybe, just maybe, an eternal slumber will cure the fatigue.

Published by Claire Leong