It doesn’t matter if you love or hate the job itself, if the people and the environment are toxic – it can be detrimental to your health and wellbeing. At times, others may not be to blame.  We’re just as capable of creating toxic relationships and environments and not even realise it. These emotional feelings could unintentionally influence those working closely around us. So how do we positively address any underlying issues and processes in the workplace, without disrupting the culture? I (Merry) had struggled for months in a toxic environment, one that I created myself, internally and unintentionally influencing others. What seemed like the most horrible place in the world, after sorting out our differences, was now a more pleasant place to work and in the process, had established a great friendship. Here’s what I learnt…

Respecting authority – Don’t take it personal:
I (Merry) admit, that don’t like being told what to do very lightly. Especially if I feel someone is acting superior towards me and making me work harder than I already am. The key here, is not to take it personally. What really pivoted my thoughts on this was when another manager had said to me “the younger generation feel entitled.” Most would crack it, but I turned the other way, because that honestly, is definitely not how I felt. I was more annoyed of the fact, that I was already doing so much, why should I take on more? At the end of the day, we were a team and so we had to work together and are obligated to discuss tasks and roles. I had to think of it as ‘if someone needed help, I’m here’. That is what our culture was.

Confrontation:Screen Shot 2016-09-18 at 7.00.48 PM.png
I learnt that, if there was something wrong, no matter how petty, you are entitled to say no, stop, or don’t do that. I was afraid of doing this. Until my own mother said (who is a manger herself) “You don’t have to say no in an aggressive manner. You can say it nicely, light heartedly and even jokingly”. And she was right! I think my angst against this other work colleague, had my blood boiling that I was so negative nancy when I didn’t have to be. We have every right to say no, with in reason and with appropriate tonality.

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Published by Mim & Fif Blog