The Bible has so much history, wisdom and truth laced in its pages. The word is a holy book and not because the Christian said so but due to the age and the works of literature in it. If you are a book lover you most likely have a huge respect for the Bible and if you are in any higher education you probably had to read the Bible because many things in history and life are referred to the wondrous book.

Now, I would be lying if I didn’t say I once was a devoted believer. If you don’t know what I mean by a believer, it is a person the Christians like to call who believe in the one true God. That Jesus Christ of Nazareth came to this earth to die for all the sinful people; they are in forever in his debt.

Time has passed and things have changed. I am no longer a part of that religion. I think the Bible stands for something else, something much greater. While the modern day Christain takes the Bible and use it for their own wickedness and lies; I don’t believe they quote it or use it correctly. I would go as far to even say if Jesus knocked on their church doors saying he is the one true God, they would laugh and close the door on his face. They use the Bible for their own agenda; their rules. If we would time travel back to when Jesus walked this earth, I think the Christians of today would be the one’s screaming to crucify Christ. They would hate him and I think the reason why is because Jesus would call them hypocrites and liars of the world…because that’s what happened with the high priestess and Pharisees; they believed to be the holiest. There is a passage of a Pharisee praying to God thanking him that he doesn’t sin as bad as the guy next to him.Comparing himself and making himself look mighty! Being a hypocrite! The Priests and Pharisees of Jesus’s time are the spitting image of Christianity today.

I remember going to church, desperate for answers…desperate for the truth. Which I craved with every fiber in me. I was not your typical teenager, I dove into the Bible…into Jesus. I remember I had to follow all these rules and when I would break them I would feel guilt sink into my blood stream, making my gut twist and turn to the point that I would have sleepless nights…are you curious to hear what gave me this anxiety?

Well, they were things like if I didn’t listen to my parents. I would believe I was a disgusting human and thanked God for saving a wretched person like me! Or when I would get angry, I believed I wasn’t allowed to get angry because it wasn’t a Christian emotion; that I was following the world with my behavior. Forgetting in the midst of those lies that I am human…just how God created me to be.

There! That word ‘human’…I am human! God created me to be like this, perfect with my flaws. Having this realization, I realized sin can’t be my fault! It’s not my fault that humans are imperfect beings, why do I need to confess? Feel guilty? Why? For what reason? Things just didn’t make sense! I speculated and wonder then why did Jesus Christ die on the cross? Let me tell you people, it wasn’t for you…well at least not in the way you think. He died because everyone was screaming to kill him and those people could’ve let him go on the day of the festival, “(but) when the crowd had gathered, Pilate asked them, “Which one do you want me to release to you: Jesus Barabbas, or Jesus who is called the Messiah?”, and you know what the crowd said?  They said let Barabbas go and crucify Jesus…by the way, Barabbas was a long-time criminal and a murderer. Yet, they choose to let him go over a man who called himself Messiah! They killed him because they didn’t like his blunt personality. They didn’t like it when Jesus would ask why they say one thing but do the same thing they just said not to do.

When he was on trial, Pilate asked him “Are you the king of the Jews?” and Jesus responded with “It is as you say”. People think Jesus was being humble…um no. He just knew he was going to die and there was no point in trying to fight his way out of this. The people wanted him dead and dead he would be. So, my point is that Jesus was not sent here to save us but to open our minds. Make us think and do the right thing, he came to show that paradise is in the palm of our hands…that’s why he didn’t come with money or looks. He came with a pure, content heart. The people didn’t want this, they wanted God to send a messiah who would be a ‘real’ king on this earth; with all the money and material things of the world. They were disappointed and wanted to erase his existences so they didn’t have to listen to the TRUTH any longer.

Christians say paradise will come when we die from this sinful world. But can I ask  Christians then why the hell did God put us in this sinful earth in the first place? For what reason? Please do not say that Adam and Eve sinned and if we were in the same situation we would’ve chosen to sin because we didn’t choose anything. Did you chose were you were born? How you look like? Who you love? Your talents?…but you did choose sin? Come on.

Jesus was teaching self-love, happiness, wealth internally and when he said”whoever believes me in shall not perish but have enteral life” he literally meant believed in him! If you didn’t leave Jerusalem shit would go down! Literally! Do you remember 70 AD? You know the time when the temple Herod built fell down and Jerusalem was destroyed?  Jesus not only came here to help humanity once remember the point of life but also to warn about 70 AD. If you read Matthew 24:1-8 it reads,“Jesus left the temple and was walking away when his disciples came up to him to call his attention to its buildings. ‘Do you see all these things?’ he asked. ‘I tell you the truth, not one stone here will be left on another; every one will be thrown down'”, prophesying the events to occur in 70 AD.

Yes, Jesus came to save but not the people of this time…it was the people of his time. He was warning them that something awful would take place and if they didn’t leave they would be crossed in the crossfire. Many didn’t believe and a lot of Jews lost their lives. Over 1,100,000 Jews killed during this siege. There was starvation to the point that cannibalism became present and it was told that mothers would devour their young and crucifixion was being overused that wood was almost impossible to find! The Christians forget to mention this because way before the 19th century this was known to all, but new theorist came along to twist the scriptures words around. Due to this, people now believe in irrational things just because the majority of people say so!

Please. If anyone could explain to me if God is love why does he allow such awful things to occur, I will return to Christianity if someone can give me a good answer! I will not take, “because he is God”, it’s like a child being abused by their parent. The child asks,”why are you hurting me”, and the parent response is, “because I am your mother/father”. If that doesn’t sound insanely toxic than I don’t know what will… do you believe in a God who does things just because he can? I don’t and I won’t.

That is why I have left the religion because it is no longer what it once was. I don’t even believe it was a religion in the first place because in religion one must do things and follow rules. In the true Christianity, there are no rules just a philosophy to live by like Buddism. I once lived in the Modern Chrisitan mindset and it’s a very hard, sad, and tiring life. Perfection is ideal but never reachable. I felt ashamed of things that I shouldn’t have felt ashamed about, I was ashamed of my natural human nature and it is morbid to hate one’s own being.

I believe in an unbreakable, undying love! I believe in a God who is good and humble! I believe God wants us to be happy in this beautiful world! I believe all religions are connected in different ways and that God lives in all of those beliefs! Most importantly, I believe in truth and if people will stop talking to me or disown me for the truth..so be it.

As Jesus stated, “the truth will set you free”…

Check out my personal blog: https://wondrousuniverse.wordpress.com/2016/09/22/why-i-believe-in-the-bible-but-dont-consider-myself-a-christian-thoughts-on-jesus-modern-day-chrisianty-and-the-events-of-70-ad/​