Inspired by my beloved culottes.

Of course, receiving compliments feels great. But nothing has the power to make me feel more confident, fierce and unbreakable the way a compliment I joyously give to myself does. Nothing else can make me walk down the road like Rihanna between a bunch of Victoria’s Secret Models in a bathrobe belting out the chorus to “Diamonds” (a song I may or may not actually sing while walking through a crowd of strangers with an excessive hip-movement going on and I’m not even kidding) or Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love”.  And while most people might be lead to believe that these moments were encouraged by the compliments and goodwill of others, they would be wrong.  The particular compliments that inspire such confidence in me are much more powerful. They are so much stronger.  They come from the inside.

So what makes the compliments we give to ourselves so powerful?

First off, and most importantly, they’re fucking rare! We live in a society where we are constantly afraid to be judged and compared and, to avoid any unpleasant judgment, we become our own worst critic. Nothing I am, nothing I do, ever seems enough. I compare myself to others and everything they do, and with my twisted, insecure mind I think everybody else is much prettier and smarter and so on and so forth. And that’s exactly why it is so incredibly powerful to reach the point where I overcome all of this fear and insecurity and see how great I actually am. I might not look like a Victoria’s Secret model and I don’t have Amal Clooney’s brain. But that’s okay because I am a unique combination of many different beautiful qualities, where not just my strengths but my weaknesses as well are what make up who I am, what make me a fighter.  Now, it's not often that I reach this point of wisdom.  But here is where I encounter the second problem. In a society where it’s so normal to be insecure that it’s even expected, being content with yourself can be irritating, maybe even threatening, to other people.  So fear kicks in. What if people just think I’m arrogant? I get to the point where I try to balance confidence and arrogance but insecurity always seems to creep in and everything collapses. And the vicious circle begins once again. So when I give an honest compliment to myself I don’t just overcome my insecurities in the first place, I overcome the fear of my character being judged falsely. And to be honest, it feels AMAZING! It’s one of the most powerful things women can do for themselves! If we can overcome all of these hurdles, NOTHING CAN STOP US!

And yes, I am still fighting with myself every morning. But let’s be strong and care about ourselves and tell us we like ourselves just the way we are. (If helpful, don’t hesitate to sing Bruno Mars to yourself at this point).

Fuck Fear! Be kind to yourself!

Internal compliments are a revolution against society and a symbol against fear.

Internal compliments for the win!

xx Shari 

Published by Shari Seeger