Boxer shorts: (n) men’s loose underpants similar in shape to the shorts worn by boxers.

Candor can be dangerous to tread, like the icy edge of a razor blade. You’re never quite sure if your audience is going to respond by being equally as transparent.

In other words, there are times I have shared my feelings with a gathering of souls, and because the subject was too tender or hit too close to home, they pretended to not understand what I was trying to communicate.

So with a bit of trepidation, I want to talk about underwear.

I have worn what they refer to as “tidy whities,” boxer shorts and boxer briefs. I would love to report that one of these is the best. But it really boils down to how they situate themselves when you perch.

Sometimes they lay perfectly, not pinching, sticking or crumpling. Other times you’ll find yourself on a long trip and realize that your boxer briefs, shorts or undies have decided to crawl up inside you.

Of course, there is no elegant way to reach down, grab them, point your toes, arch your back, and yank.

A rather noticeable process, wouldn’t you agree?

Yet once you get past the humiliation of this performance, the relief you receive is almost supernal.

So I don’t know whether “tight is right” or “loose saves your goose.”

But I am determined to spend the rest of my life searching for the perfect pair of underpants…or else just give up and let it all hang out.

 

Published by Jonathan Cring