Bulge: (n) a rounded swelling or protuberance that distorts a flat surface.

She smiled at the camera and said, “It is very important that you are proud of your body.”

I waited. I paused to see if she would laugh–because I immediately giggled.

I’ve been working for years on trying not to be ashamed of my body, and to avoid the temptation to do so, I do not like to look at myself Dictionary Bin the mirror.

Now, this may cause some thin people who make their living in physical fitness to weep, but I happen to believe that no good has ever come out of anyone standing in front of a mirror with their naked body, admiring.

There’s something beautiful about being aware of your status, lackings and bulges. Matter of fact, I have only one major goal and it’s really quite simple:

I try to diet and maintain my weight so that my bulge does not open a secondary office on top of its friend–because “bulging on bulge” is a real danger. Anyone who’s ever had a bulge will understand what I’m talking about and anyone who’s never had a bulge should probably eat tarantula turds and die.

Well, maybe not die … just spend more time smiling at themselves in the mirror.

And please leave me the hell alone.

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Published by Jonathan Cring