Ari....

"Why the moon?" I heard myself ask Zo.

"Because the moon teaches me, you, us a valuable lesson about life. We just nonchalantly disregard it like everything else. We are unappreciative of familiarity amongst us. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Sure there is science to support the logic behind certain events/existence, but I would never be able to comprehend such meticulous deductions by experts. Get what I mean, A?" Zo gesticulated. He looked at me with such puppy eyes, praying I would comprehend each word that had come out his mouth.

Honestly, I would be a fool if I had not understood any of what he said. It's rare meeting an individual who possess such passion on everything and anything. He has an answer for everything albeit it might not be accurate, but it satisfies your inquisitive mind temporarily. Not to forget, he conveys it with such conviction that you'd never harbour an ounce of doubt. We talk for hours, not once getting bored or at loss for words. We start off talking about A and we would transition to topic Z unintentionally. Having a conversation with him has quickly become one of my favourite pastime.

"I reckon I am. So what you're saying is Zo, you forge an answer? Or..what loosely resembles a reasonable justification?" I inquired.

"I guess you can say that. I mean, I never had thought about it from that angle but yes."

"But what has that got to do with your fixation on the moon, Zo? What is the valuable lesson?" I probed. I was determined on getting an answer to my question, tonight.

"Oh right. When I was young, I had marks all over my limbs from all the ruckus I had been apart of, and my mum wanted me to stop coming home with a new mark each day so she scared me by saying those marks were permanent and that I'll grow old with it . My dad, however, told me one day that those scars are what makes me, me and that I should be proud of it. Eventually those scars diminished but his words were imprinted. Now when I look up at the moon and the dark areas around it, it reminds me of my father's words. The moon is not just a huge spherical white ball that many claim it is. It's, you know, more than that." Zo explained calmly.

 

To say that got me thinking was an understatement. My mind was moving as fast as the bullet train in Japan. He rarely talks about his family and now, not only did he talk about them, he was also wearing that elusive side grin as he walked down memory lane.

"What about you, A? What do you see? I'm sure our perspectives differ." he threw the ball to my oh-so-empty court.

"Me? I'm afraid I'm part of the majority who are ignorant.."

"I highly doubt that, A. I know you and you always remind me that the littlest things usually embodies the most significance. Granted the moon is the farthest thing from being little, but I suspect you would be able to associate a life memory to the characteristics of the moon. All I'm saying is, consider the moon to be a passive illustration to one of your principles in life. It varies but there has to be something. Clear your mind off the nomadic thoughts, look up at the moon, study it and ask yourself what life would be if we were denied of such beauty.."

Using both my palms as a pillow, I laid back and clinched the best view. There were a few stars around the moon and they try their best to steal the attention off the moon, which is implausible, as my eyes were locked on the moon. It was undeniably divine and I felt a pang of jealousy stir within me. If only I was blessed with a portion of its beauty, to mesmerize the world, to shine bright, to be able to be perfect for what it is. I closed my eyes, in fear that my jealousy for something so far-fetched would be reflected in tears.

Like everyone else, insecurities weigh me down. It's tough living out here where everyone seems put together and there I was struggling to hide the demons within me. I decided that I would rather be concealed and be oblivious than acknowledge them. I tried my best to fit in. I followed the trends, I lived for them.. Not myself.Everyday I would go around pleasing people, therefore inadvertently giving everyone the permission to take advantage of me. I blamed the society, when in reality, I was foolish enough to succumb to the irrational standards set by most- to just be another common man.

I forgot who I was and it took me a while to  realise that a community's perception of perfection does not necessarily make it universal. After years of going against the wind, I'm now walking liberally on the right path.  I stopped hiding my faults and accepted them. I needed to be perfect the only way I know how. By just being me...

My eyes flew open from that epiphany. I looked to my left to see that Zo had fallen asleep. As eager as I was to tell him, I decided against it. Some things ought to be done alone. I looked up again, to an even brighter moon, which could just be me being delusional.

"If you, the moon, could be perfect in spite of your imperfections. I don't see why I can't be too. I shouldn't shy away from my flaws, but instead wear them with pride. For no one can be me and I need to be my own. I need to be my own moon. If that makes sense, you know. It made perfect sense in my head and now hearing it out loud just makes me want to retract my words." I whispered. Thankful and relived for a moment, that Zo was asleep like a log beside me and that he hadn't listen to my blabbers. But it soon came crashing down when I heard him murmur,

"It makes sense."

 

Published by X Biri