Why My Body Will "NOT" Be Considered a Monument

Bottom line: trends are continuously transitioning into the next big thing, and I’ve always loved food, pretty much anything that is edible.

The reality is that social media contributes to what we, man or woman, perceive as beautiful and how a body, more specifically ours, should look. I admit, it has contributed to what I believe my body should look like. I am guilty of scrolling through Instagram and immediately comparing myself to complete strangers on social media. The worst part of this, I end up creating a harsh judgement on my own self.

With highs and lows of calorie intakes, my skin has inflated and deflated over the years. Trends and criticisms of how the body of a girl, teen, and now woman, should look have hit me hard every time. They aimed and hit hard, hard enough to push me to do as much as I was willing to do to obtain that desired image. What is that? Simple: starve.

I’ve always loved food, but that desire gave me hopes of feeling beautiful, so I headed towards that method. If there is something that to this day I am  thankful for is for never having the will to manually make my stomach turn. Yes, I  did try, but I guess my own stomach never cooperated with an obnoxious way to reach a “perfect” body.

I’m 21, but that doesn’t mean my skin is breathless and flawless. I’ve scraped my knees countless times, broken my arm, and burned in the sun a hundred times. I still break out from time to time. All that and more have dressed my body throughout these 21 years.

I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it, being comfortable and in love with your body can be ridiculously hard, maybe even more today than ever. This comes from an individual with a long past of disliking her body.

Another reality is that, as new clothes, colors, and hairstyles are in and out of style every season, the “ideal” body image constantly changes as well. Working healthy or unhealthy for a body that will fit society norms can really turn out to be pointless if after a period of time, new trends will arrive and there will be another new “ideal” body image to work for. A never-ending cycle? Yes.

When I first started going to the gym, my goal was to be thin. I then later realized that my body shape and bone structure made it nearly impossible to be, what in my eyes is thin. My next move was to embrace my body type. Being “thicker” or wider became the new trend. Good news, right? Probably not.

As I scrolled through Instagram I realized that although curves are being celebrated, the more accentuated the curves were, the more beautiful the body was and is perceived. I started feeling the need to work out towards that goal, got get more defined, bigger curves. Being curvy or “thick” was not enough, my body shape was not enough.

I previously mentioned I love eating “almost anything” that is edible, I mean healthy and junk food. Yes, I am guilty again. For some time now, I have battled many eating habits that I was taught when I was a child. Why? They were mostly bad eating habits. Yet, there are some habits, such as occasionally eating junk food, that are very hard for me to give up, even now. I do try to tone it down on hot Cheetos and pizza, but sometimes I can’t resist. On the other hand, over the last two years I have resorted into eating more vegetables, fruits, and foods rich in nutrients.

Somewhere in my timeline, I have realized that society will always bombard us with opinions about our bodies. It is nearly impossible to prevent that from happening as it is everywhere.

Liking or even appreciating one’s body can be hard when hearing and seeing what fits into perfection is not what we see in the mirror. If coming from anywhere near the road I come from, you know there is or has been a constant battle with loving and, not hating because I do not like that word when talking about oneself, disliking the skin you inhabit.

Currently I still work out. I do this because I enjoy it and want to improve my body and health for my own pleasure and appreciation for it, not because I want to fit into the standards society mandates, anymore. I genuinely love sweating and feeling the soreness of a good workout, whether it’s at a gym or my house. I believe working out and eating better should be because you want to improve your body and/or health for your own good and satisfaction, and not to fit a trend that we’ll all say goodbye once the new “hot” thing comes in.

​*Don't forget to visit my personal blog, Simply.Fernanda, for more posts like this!