Can you really forgive?
This week I have been writing about what type of person are you, will you stand up for a friend, can you handle the truth and today I ask you, can you forgive?
This is a huge one that most of us can't get past. If someone does us wrong it is human nature to be angry and to hold that anger against them, sometimes even for years and years. So this is today's question... can you forgive? Really, really forgive? Forgiveness is not about the other person whether you believe it or not, it’s for you!
Yes, I said you! If you read my blog you know I put it all out there so that others might learn from my mistakes or that I might encourage someone else. I wrote about being raped years ago and how for years I walked around hating him with a passion. It consumed my life, so much so, it was almost in all my waking thoughts. I couldn't get over that he took my virginity that was supposed to be for my high school sweetheart. I was waiting for him to be my first and it was my gift to give to him and instead, it got taken.
I couldn't get over how I got pregnant and had to have a horrible abortion at fifteen. I couldn't get over how because of all of this, I tried to kill myself. Yes, this was all because of him!
I was full of hatred; it was eating me up alive. I realized I had to forgive him not for him but for me, so that I may go on without this hatred eating through me. The hatred was changing who I was, who God had called me to be and so I forgave him.
I will never forget what he did to me and I am a big believer in karma and I know one day... But it’s not up to me, I gave it to God and I forgave him.
It changed my life, I found peace again, I was whole and healthy, and so this was definitely for me.
Today, when I think about people that really hurt me, the pain is some days so bad that it hurts just to breathe. When you can't believe someone could do that or say that to you, these are the days I have to remember the most that I need to forgive.
I have practiced what I preach too. I forgave Mr. Con Artist, I forgave my ex-husband and I even forgave my best friend recently who stole money from me.
Now does this mean I will be having any of them over for dinner any time soon or that I will be friends with them? No, forgiving doesn't mean be stupid; it just says forgive so you can move on.
It’s for me to turn them loose, so that I may concentrate on more important things I must do.
So today my friends, the next time hate is eating you up, think of me and say ‘’Hell if she can forgive her rapist, I can forgive my sister for not returning my calls, my kids for saying mean things, the cheating ex-husband or my coworker who took my job’’ Whatever it is, fill in the blanks ... Just forgive! It’s for you, not for them, forgive and move on with your life, it will be the best decision you will ever make.
"Be the change you want to see"
"And just when the caterpillar thought his life was over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"
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Published by Francesca Villardi (Treadmill Treats)