The Desperate Homosexual And I (3)


If there is anything that discourages people the more, it is lack of encouragement. I believe everyone needs someone who encourages them to move on against all odds, I believe when we are encouraged by others for the little we do, we will be strengthened to do more. But on my own case, I had no one to encourage me. I had no mentor, I was even scared to approach one... Like I said earlier, I am an introvert to the core. I knew I needed a mentor but I didn't know how to even get to the right people. 

While I have been working very hard to see that my book becomes available in the market, it wasn't being possible and my hard work seemed to be ridiculing my very self. In that regard, I was gradually giving up writing. Even my very own efforts discouraged me from writing,  but something happened.

In the early days of 2012, I was reading Romans 8 concerning life in the Spirit. At first I was not comfortable with some things I saw there and I was even feeling that Paul's book shouldn't be in the bible. I have heard something about 'Grace' in YAC convention two years ago, I remember being very angry with the speaker for saying "God wasn't counting sins anymore", I remembered seeing the same thing in Pastor Chris's Rhapsody of Realities and I remembered promising myself not to read that book again.

However, this time it was coming stronger because I was reading it myself in the scriptures. I struggled with it that I had to study Romans 8, 9 and 10 for one week. It was then that something began to change about my thinking. I believed in God, I believed in Jesus, I believed in what Jesus did on the cross but before then I also believed we must also be doing something to remain saved. But now, I saw myself believing that the hard work is finished and there is no hard work to do again.

Now, what has that got to do with my story on homosexuals and their offers? Yes! Knowing Jesus beyond what I have known made me trust God for everything! I decided to quit working hard, I decided to quit searching for help and a new passion was stirred in me. I started writing about Jesus and God's love. I didn't bother myself about publishing a book anymore, I began spreading my messages on Facebook and in Amazing Grace YAC, my messages took a new shape. I saw people coming to fellowship every Sunday just to hear a word from me that came from God. By then, I was appointed as the YAC president. But Satan still persisted and sent more homosexuals with even bigger offers.

One fine evening, I had closed up my office where I worked as a graphics designer, packed few of my files and stepped out to find my way home. As soon as I came down the stairs, I met a tall, slim young man. He was looking at me as if he knew me from somewhere, his face looked familiar anyway and he approached me and accosted.

"I am sure you don't know me. But I know you very much and have being trying to speak with you concerning your job, your book and a business offer" he told me after we exchanged pleasantries. I believe there can always be good people and so I don't usually conclude who a person is in my first encounter with them.

"Ehmmm, sorry... But did you say you know me?" I asked trying to find out if we've met before.

"Yea. You're George, you are a writer and you currently work here... I see you everyday, I admire your hard works and I have decided to find you a better job that will pay you well. I work with a publishing firm, one of the biggest in West Africa and working for us will be a nice thing." He gave me his card and indeed he was working with the said firm (name withheld). I had been to that firm years ago when I was desperately looking for a publisher.

"Visit me tomorrow evening after work let's talk business. You won't be able to come to my office because of your work. I live in the house near bus-stop. Just ask of me, they will show you my flat." he added and left.

I stood there for some time looking at the card and watching him walk away. I wasn't worried anyway but I was just surprised why someone would approach me that way.

The next day, I didn't work extra-time. I would always do extra time for some pay but because of the appointment I had with the slim young man, I closed at exactly 5pm and set out for his house. I put a call through and he informed me he just came back home.

Few minutes later, I was in his house. He lived in one room apartment. When I entered, he closed the door behind and bolted it

"I don't have chairs here... I have only a bed. Hope you don't mind?" He asked pulling of his shirt and trouser. "The heat is too much. Do I owe anybody an apology if I stay at home in boxers alone?"

"Ah... No. Its your house, you can do whatever you want in your house." I forced a smile still trying not to show the suspicion on my face "sir, can we discuss the business now?" I asked. He pretended not to hear me, he picked a photo album and threw at me asking me to keep myself busy with the photos as he put some things in order.

Looking at the photos I discovered he only take pictures with fellow males and he is always in a pose that looks much feminine. I saw his university school days and also the days he served Nigeria as a Youth Corp.

"You would like some alcohol?" He asked me

"No... No... I don't take alcohol." I replied immediately

"Malt then?" He asked opening his small fridge

"Never mind sir... That's what I took before coming here" I lied

"You mean you'll come to my house and not take anything?" He asked with a frown

"Sir... I believe I came here for a formal talk and not to be entertained. Thanks so much" I reminded him and he breathed hard.

"Well" he sat near me "I actually like you... I mean, I love you. That's why I want to help you become the best you can be by assisting you. I am aware you went to a publisher some years ago who gave you empty promises. I was following you somehow but you did not know. I just want you to trust me and give me a chance" he was so close that I would perceive the smell of his mouth

Right there, many things was on my mind. The door was locked and the man looked very strong, he would rape me right there if I play hard. I looked for a way to escape him that moment and fortunately something came to my mind and I began

"Well, sir... You're such a good man. But I have lots of things waiting for me at home now. Why not allow me go home and do some chores... My parents are waiting. Once am done, I will be back around 9pm and we can stay here as long as you want me"

"Oh really?" He nodded "that's thoughtful of you. He reached for his wallet, brought out some money and offered me " this is to show you I really like you"

"Hahahahaha" I faked my laugh "Sir, you're worrying too much. Hold your money and trust me. I will be back by night"

"Give me your number then..." He requested

"08030.... Hmmm, don't mind me. I don't even have my number of hand. Can you imagine that? And my phone is off" I lied

"Well, no probs. Just keep to your words." He told me

That was it! He opened the door and I left. The moment I saw myself outside, I breathed hard! I felt delivered from the Lion's den and the natural air made much sense to me. I left, I didn't come back... Of course, what will I be back for?

After that day, I met him again in a mall, he was coming towards me and I walked out on him. I continued that way till I got to see him no more. Expect speaking to him in his house that time, we never discussed anything else till date. I learnt he later had a problem with some guys who threatened to deal with him and he ran away from the neighborhood.

Few weeks later.
I was at my office when a man walked in. He was a popular face on the TV as he was into broadcasting.

"Nna Kedu?" He asked me and without waiting for an answer he continued "Is your boss in? I came to see him"

"No sir... He left some minutes ago" I responded. He turned to leave but came back 

"have anyone commended you for your commitments? You see, every time I come in here, you're just focused on what you do. Keep it up." He said

"Thank you Sir... Lots of people have told me that anyway" I smiled.

"Give me your number... I will call you later to see if your boss is back. I don't want to call him directly because he knows how to lie. He lie with relish" he told me.

I gave him my number and he left with a broadened smile.

From the moment I gave him my number, he kept calling me till it even began to disturb my peace. He would call to know if I worked well for the day, he would call to know if I came back home safely and he would call just to say "hi". It was obvious, he was gay. I stopped answering his calls.

One fine Saturday morning, I was in a filling station to buy fuel when a car pulled behind me. The driver blasted his horn and called my name. I turned to look and it was him

"Good morning Sir" I greeted him

"Good morning dear... So you've decided to ignore me all those while. Its unfair o" he told me. I didn't reply him, I just smiled as he continued "well, I just came to fill my tank. Would you mind me dropping you?"

"Oh... No... Thanks. Am fine. I can trek home." I replied

"I insist... I will be driving past Limca Road" he told me

Well, I agreed. He can't do anything funny while driving. While driving he made some requests which I declined and I made known to him my stand in Christ. I told him I am no longer in search of people's help and that there is more to life than what they can offer. He stopped me in front of our house (I showed him) and he drove off without saying a word. That was the end of it. Till date, he still work in a government owned media house.

Truth is this... In all these temptations, they almost got me using what seemed to be my need. Lots of girls are in a very bad relationships today because they felt help would come from there. They are not enjoying those relationships, they are not happy with it but they felt help would come. Lots of boys today have become homosexuals because they were left alone to struggle on their own. If you are a believer, find these people and become their friends... You would be preventing them from lots of things. The devil came to tempt Jesus, he tempted him with bread which was what seemed appropriate at that time. Many will fall for that trick today if we don't bear one another's burden. It is believers that are tempted... Remember that.

Trusting Jesus brought up lots of changes. I wasn't desperate anymore, I believed even more when nothing seems to be happening. The message of God's grace taught me much more than being above sin, it also taught me how to keep trusting God. Gradually, what used to be a Facebook post became a blog. 

When I took God serious, good people started coming into my life. Till date, I have not printed a book and yet I remained happy, joyous and very hopeful. I didn't need my book to be in the market anymore before I can pass a message. God opened my eyes with lots of reality and strategies. If I had printed books then, today I may not really take the social media serious.

Last year, I received a message from the broadcaster who had wanted me. He was now encouraging me to keep on with the work of the Lord, he encouraged me never to let anything distract me and he admitted he is feeling my impact through the social media. Had I giving in completely, he wouldn't be making that confession about me... He would see me as another scammer in the clothing of a minister of the gospel.

Years later, I received a Facebook message from Evang. Nnamdi Udemadu, he is a banker and a preacher. He encouraged me to start working on my books whether I see any resource or not. He told me a time might come when I won't have time to put books together again. He told me other things that put me into action. By then, I had written Dedicated to Women. With my experience and skills in computer, I made the book available in EBook and requested that he write the forward for me. The processes the book went in becoming available was much but only God could do it. I would stay awake working all night since hiring an expert would demand much money.

What I had struggled for years in my own strength, I saw myself doing it without stress. I had struggled to make my book locally available but my strength failed me. When I discovered Jesus finished the struggles on the cross and queued into what he did for me, I saw my book available to the whole world without a single stress. 

Shortly, I got another idea of printing my books and distributing it from United States of America using CreateSpace, a partner firm of Amazon and it indeed worked out. We started the process, they had sent in their requirements and demands and we are almost there. As soon as the Federal Government lifts their ban on Naira debit cards in doing dollar transactions, the distribution of the print copies will start.

This is therefore my testimony.
In a world of desperation, in a world of loneliness and darkness, God is only waiting for  us to trust him. God cannot do anything if you cannot trust and believe him. I did and it worked. I am still hearing God say to someone "is there anything too hard for me to do?"

You may have given in to temptations... We all did. But don't remain there. The best you can do for yourself is to break out of that mess by trusting Jesus absolutely. You may have spent years in immorality just because you felt help might come through it but its not still late. God is always ready... Can you trust him?

Have a blessed day.




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