My Secret Love

I have a secret … it’s a BIG one too. Wanna hear it?

I LOVE my life. So much love do I have for this life, that I feel happy MOST of the time.

Now, this was not always the case. I have had a great many years feeling crappy, annoyed, frustrated, depressed, unloved, unworthy, stuck … and then I decided I was sick of it. And I learned that I can CHOOSE how to feel. I am not stuck with just whatever comes and a “natural” reaction … I am in charge of my energy, my atmosphere, my emotions, my responses and I am able to pick one over the other if I want to.

And that little fact right there brought freedom to my life that has greatly expanded my happiness.

Am I happy all of the time? No. I’m not. But I’m not taken away in circumstances anymore. Any moment I don’t feel happy I KNOW I am choosing that. And the moment I realize I’m choosing to dwell on things that make me feel bad is the moment I knock it off and choose a different way.

I (and many others) call it conscious creation. I am CREATING the life I DESIRE through my conscious efforts. I CHOOSE to be AWAKE and AWARE and not to get sucked into believing that I don’t have the freedom in EVERY moment to be who I want to be.

That being said, I have my moments, my “I’m in a funk” afternoons, my “this sucks” situations. But more and more I can see them REALLY quickly and I am aware that I am looking at the circumstances and internalizing them when I can choose to NOT do that and feel good in that moment anyway.

Example: We were in a car accident last Saturday. We were merrily driving home from the grocery store with cupcakes, a new mug, and a Christmas cactus (I kid you not) and had stopped at a light and were rear ended. Our trailer hitch was shoved down and the truck’s bumper moved. I was shoved forward pretty hard in my seat. Our cupcakes were SERIOUSLY jostled! (there was smushed frosting and everything!!)

Yucky ANNOYING frustrating circumstance! BOO!!

This could have completely ruined the day, the week, and quite possibly the month! To top it off, the other car didn’t have insurance. DOUBLE BOO!!

I couldn’t find it in me to spend any amount of my energy being mad about it though. I just didn’t want to do that. So while my husband talked to the police officer and the people in the offending car as it rained heavily all over him, my daughter and I sat in the truck and “boo hoo’d” the smashed frosting on the cupcakes and focused on other things.

I could have been annoyed. I could be really mad still that we have to pay to have our car fixed because they didn’t have insurance. But you know what? I’m not going to do that. I’m grateful we weren’t hurt. I’m grateful we had just bought cupcakes for the kids and a Christmas plant for me and we were on our way to a gala to boot! (seriously … it was a BUSY day!!)

It is always ALL how you choose to look at the situation. And you’re entitled to look at every situation however you choose. You’re not a bad person if you get annoyed and mad. You’re not a better person if you are happy all the time. You’re always just you. And you are the chooser – the creator of your life.

What do you prefer to feel? That’s all that matters.

Here’s another secret though … what you focus on EXPANDS! So when you choose to focus on feeling good, being happy, seeing the positives? Those things start to show up more and more often in your life. And you literally create a new way to live.

It’s miraculous indeed.

Life is not all bubble gum, lollipops, smiles, warm blankets, and hugs. It’s just not. But those things are circumstances. And if you tie your well being to the circumstances you see outside of you, you have given away ALL of your power.

Why would you WANT to do that? I don’t think I would have chosen to do that previously had I been aware that I had the choice. I only gave away my power because I was UNAWARE and ASLEEP in my life.

I don’t want to be asleep anymore. AWAKE MY SOUL!

And it feels GOOD to wake up and to realize that I have ALL the power and that my power is STRONG and that I am CAPABLE. And that with PRACTICE and DETERMINATION I can change EVERYTHING for the better if I choose to.

So, today I am choosing happiness. And I don’t care that my house is messy and that it’s cold outside. And that I have laundry to do. And that I’m STILL waiting for the other car’s insurance to be “proven” non existent so we can fix our car with a lower deductible. Those things don’t define my life in ANY way.

I see that I have EVERYTHING going for me right now because I claim the power that is mine to claim. I get to create the life I desire through my thoughts, my focus, my perspective and my responses to the world around me. And how can I NOT love this life when I get to choose what it is?!

The power of conscious creation is AWESOME. And it is mine and it is YOURS and it is ALWAYS available.

honorthismoment – #100somethings – 84/100

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