Where To?

Where To?

Today I watched the sunset – and it took my breath away. It is such a simple thing in life, right? You can get these five minutes of peace and beauty every day – and each sunset will be unique.

Sometimes, I am amazed when I realize how close my happiness stands. It’s in the little things – the purple silky sky, the magnificent colors of the few moments when it’s neither day nor night. It’s the old stylish man who took my bags or the smile of the homeless person when I bought him a packaged sandwich. The little things – they matter the most.

I was driving back home from university while the night was folding the earth. And I was thinking – where am I going? In the short term, obviously – home. But in a year or in five – where to?

If you read the first articles in my blog Seek The Unique, you will know that I had battles in my life that almost ruined me as a person. I let them do so. I was scared to dream and to create a vision about my life because the difference between reality and dreams seemed like an enormous precipice, and I was standing on the edge, not knowing how to get to the other side.

I’m done with being scared, though. To be more specific, I’m done with letting my fears keep me away from realizing my dreams. It will always be there, this feeling of being ‘not enough’ – as a normal human reaction to anything that takes us out of our comfort zone. And yet, standing in this magical circle won’t help me achieve anything and will never give me the other feeling that matters: the feeling of being alive. This is what I want: to feel alive and enjoy those five purple-colored minutes of day knowing ‘Where to?’.

I need to find peace within myself, first. There are many hurricanes inside that take away my happiness and where I’ve drowned so many times. You have those, too, in the shape of a person that betrayed you, or left you behind; or an event that ruined your confidence and your true belief in yourself. Tell me, how do you cope with them? I try to keep them locked inside and yet sometimes it just doesn’t work. So, my very first task is to get to know them better. How were they born? Who created them? And why wouldn’t they just disappear?

Living with the past is not worth the pain. My direction is going forward – to a better and more confident Me. I’ve got my blessings in life, and I've started setting my goals. Just at the beginning of my 20s, I’ve realized that living without a direction is making me unhappy, and is simply wasting my time. And time, as you know, is limited. There’s nothing like forever.

So, where to?

Published by Iliyana Dadarova

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