I've posted this on my original blog. However, with recent events this remains more true than ever.
Over the past few weeks, my perspectives on a lot of things have either been altered slightly or changed completely. This is a result of my personal experiences with individuals and the level of interaction at which those experiences take place. The topic that possesses my thoughts today is the topic of attraction. My concept of attraction and how others perceive things to be attractive has manifested itself into a way of thinking, that I may even be able to comprehend as I type this. Forgive me if these thoughts do not seem clear or concise.
Previous to my experiences that have lead to this new way of thinking for me, I was a very superficial being. I could look at a person and immediately define if I was or was not attracted to them completely based upon their aesthetic appearance. Do they dress themselves nicely? Do they look like they take care of themselves? Do I find them attractive based upon my own preferences and ideas? These questions used to mean a lot to me. They still mean something to me, but the superficial lines are becoming less and less apparent. A few conversations with close friends have opened up my eyes to a different perspective that I had not fully realized until recently: I value personality. This comes across as extremely shallow, allow me to clarify. I have always valued personality whether it be in past relationships or while interacting with people I see regularly. I've always found a "good" personality to be attractive. And I put good in quotes because everyone's idea of a good personality fluctuates. But continuing on, I find in myself that I value personality at a higher point on the scale of attraction than I ever have before. Let me share a few examples as to what I mean.
My first example is coming off an experience that has to do with my own attraction towards another individual. My initial thoughts were that this person was extremely physically attractive but also came with the stigma of being boring, shallow, or basic. Upon further interaction, I came to my own conclusions that I had made false assumptions based on superficial attributes. Through conversation and brief time spent together, I reflected that there is more to this individual than a lot of people give credit for.
The second example that I have is about one my very close friends. We've been friends for over a year and have spent countless hours together by choice or by force. With that said, we've become extremely close within this past month and I feel like that should be accounted for. When I talk about personality and what I find attractive and when I refer to the previous paragraph how I made split second judgements, I can completely see those things applied to this individual. I can visibly see people judging off of a few seconds without taking the time to understand and get to know this person. And maybe they don't want to get to know this individual on the same level that I know this person, and that's okay. And yet, I am deeply saddened because I think that if people took the time to let this individual become more apparently in their lives then both parties would benefit greatly. By forming opinions in one second that leaves no room for expansion.
I titled my thoughts "Through the Looking Glass" for a reason. For those that don't know, the title comes from the sequel to Alice in Wonderland. It means that things aren't what they seem, a strange parallel world. I thought it fitting to talk to use that phrase when talking about personalities. A looking glass is also a term for a mirror and a mirror only shows us what's on the outside. Perhaps in a strange parallel world, it would show us what's on the inside.
Published by Jack Beck