Finding the Courage to say 'No'

If I had to list instances in my life where I should have said, ‘No’ and been better off for it, I’d have quite a few items on that list. Even when I thought I’d learnt that saying no can be done, I still got myself into situations that gave me a ton of anxiety.

One day, I found a photo on Instagram by @impassionedperfection and it was simply of the following words:

'no'

might make them angry.

but

it will make you free.

- if no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger

I am writing this post to share this, and also so I can return to it to remind myself not to be scared of saying no. You know in sitcoms or TV dramas when there’s that one character in that one situation and they keep digging a hole deeper and deeper, and you’re just sat there thinking that the whole situation could be avoided if they just thought about what they wanted rather than what other people want them to want? I’m that character.

Anxiety blows things out of proportion to the extent that it makes me feel like saying ‘no’ is the worst thing that I could do, even when I’m feeling stressed and crying about something that could easily be solved. Why should I sacrifice my own happiness just to please someone else?

I could have done with a quote like this last year. I know I’m a lot happier now, and I know I angered and upset others in order to reach a point where I felt free and happy, but at the end of the day we move on, and as long as moving on means finding happiness where there was previously none, then that has to be a good thing.

Those of you with anxiety: If someone makes you feel anxious, upset, pressured, or that you can’t say no for fear of angering them…say no anyway. The worst that can happen is they’ll be annoyed or angry in that instance, but give it a day, a week, and they’ll be glad you were honest.

I wasn’t honest, and I lost a childhood friend.

Be honest, even if honest means saying no when you feel you have to say yes.

—

This was originally posted on my blog, which you can visit by clicking here.