Peer pressure is something we are taught about at school, how to respond when you don't want to drink, take drugs or have sex. Personally I have never been convinced that peer pressure exists when I was young and my friends were drinking and I didn't want to I simply didn't even if they tried to make a big deal out of it I just wouldn't do it. Anyone who tries to force you in to doing something you don't want to do isn't really your friend. Something I realised at a young age.
We are led to believe that peer pressure is simply a problem of the adolescence but it isn't as an adult it simply evolves.
As a 25 year old in a serious relationship I find the question that myself and my boyfriend are getting asked constantly is when are you going to have kids?
Neither me or my boyfriend want to have children and I am very open about this. It's my life and my body and I will choose what do with it. What's worse is these pressures and questions are coming from family and friends. Now don't get me wrong here I love children I'm blessed to have five nieces and nephews and I love them all with all my heart. I spoil them rotten and enjoy the time I spend with them. But when I look at my life and my future I don't have any desire to have any of my own.
I take the kids on days out, babysit and enjoy teaching them about things and caring for them but as my granny used to always say "it's nice to see them but it's also nice to see them go home".
Whenever I'm holding my baby niece there are always comments "it suits you" , "you look like you are meant to do this", "do you want to push the pram to get a feel for it when it's your turn?" and the worst offender "it's what you're made for". Now I every time I hear these comments I again repeat my party line I don't want children and it's insulting that the nearest and dearest in my life do not respect my decision.
Now I am only 25 and people are having children later and later on in life than previous generations and I may years down the line change my mind and that is perfectly okay and I may not and that is okay too. But what is not okay is people invalidating my existence, my life and my relationship because I have a uterus and choose not fill it with babies. I am sure that having children is very life affirming and for many the best thing they have ever done. But viewing my life, my ambition and my accomplishments as lesser because I don't have a little mini me is just plain wrong. And this pressure seems to be placed more on the shoulders of women than men. It seems that mindsets haven't changed since the invention of birth control it gave women a very important thing choice - the opportunity to have sex and not dread the late period - and in today's world it seems a bit backwards as a woman it's okay for me to vote, work, drive, own land and property and all of that is perfectly okay no one bats an eyelid. But I make a decision regarding my own body and suddenly everyone and their dad has an opinion about it.
So it would seem that pressures we felt as teens have now just evolved rather than all together disappeared. What are your thoughts on this? Are you getting the same sh*t? Do you think that having a womb means I should have kids? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Published by Jay Tonner