It had been a while now that I had written something and was wondering why.
I thought maybe because I didn’t have had any heartbreak in a while or didn’t find someone new to fall for.
It’s funny isn’t it? How words from a broken heart turns out to be so mesmerizing. How a bleeding heart could ink a paper so beautifully.
But then I had this dream last night, about you of course.
You were sitting, not with me unfortunately, but across me, with someone I assumed to be your lover. You two, lost in each other’s eyes, giggling to silent whispers, seemed to be in trance in each other’s proximity. You seemed to be two bodies one soul. You two, sitting with tip of your noses touching so affectionately that my heart pumped acid. Seeing your love burned my lungs more than the cigarette I was holding. Everytime you giggled, my brain thumped. Everytime you shared gazes with him, I lost a little vision. I could have got up, walked straight to you and then, silence. I couldn’t have said anything. How could I, you were so happy. I convinced myself that must be enough for an idiot like me.
But I couldn’t look at you two any longer. I ran my eyes around and saw her. ‘Her’, new girl, new love. God dammit! What did I get myself into again? She smiled, so did I. Came closer and sat beside me, it was then I noticed her deep brown eyes. She fixed me with her gaze and the constant smile on her face, and damn I was in trance again.
It was then something woke me up. Maybe I was not supposed to see what happens next. I was not supposed to see if I would end up again alone in a chair , gazing her with someone else, burning my lungs and aching my heart. Or if it was me that would sit with her, our noses touching each other’s, hearts pumping sweet syrup, if we would be two bodies one soul.
It is these dreams that play with our mind sometimes. Sometimes they show us something we utterly desire, building hope inside us, false hope sometimes. Sometimes they show us something we don’t even want to think about, frightening us with the possibilities of many circumstances. But it is these dreams that help us to keep fighting for our desires. It is these dreams that warn us about the possible hurdles in our way.
So keep dreaming.
Keep moving on.
Published by Jaydeep Bansal