I am not the most patient person around. My bad temper has considerably lessened. But when something, or someone, suddenly pulls my trigger, man, do I erupt! Now, I am far from being proud about this. I know that more than the other person's, it is my own fault because I let him/her and the situation get to me. It really all boils down to communication to avoid conflicts.
Having good communication skills does not only mean getting your message across successfully. Think first before you shoot. This just might save your relationships. Familiarity does not necessarily breed contempt, however, we tend to take the people around us for granted and we become so careless with our words and actions. Thus, the conflicts, anger, word wars, sometimes cold wars. What drama. I’ve narrowed down some cautionary methods for you to try and avoid further conflicts.
1. “DEAL WITH THE NOW” Do not dredge up the past. When we’re mad, we oftentimes refer back to the other’s past mistakes that may even be unrelated to the new problem. That is the real delay and drains up energy. Concentrate on both your feelings and how to fix the problem. Stick with the current issue.
2. “LEND YOUR EARS MORE” Communication is a two-way traffic . Give him the chance to explain and try to understand where he’s coming from. So listen, do not just hear. You’ll have your own opportunity to explain as well. There is always more than one point of view in every story. Try not to emphasize on blame but rather, focus on finding a solution. It’s not a contest.
3. “ACCEPT C/SC” That’s Criticism/Self-Criticism. In a disagreement, there’s bound to be criticism aimed at you by the other party. Just accept and keep calm for you’ll have the chance to speak, as mentioned above. Try to gauge how much of what he says may be true about you. Self-criticize. You might be surprised to find you could be in the wrong.
4. “OWN UP” Once you find you are in the wrong, don’t be afraid to apologize.
Communication is always the key to a more peaceful living. :)
Published by J.Gi Federizo