Is everywhere. Maybe. Maybe not. It’s all up to you.
For someone who’s been through a lot of hellhole that life thrown at, I struggled to feel happy most of those times. But, at least for now, it’s not like that anymore. I’ve learned how to catch it whenever I feel the opposite. I’ve realized, it may seems hard but happiness, for the nth time, is a choice.
This is not a post about steps to find and keep happiness. No. There’s no such thing. Also, I am not a licensed life coach and not even have a degree on Psychology. This is by far, based on my outmost experience.
Happiness is not an instant emotion that if you want to feel it, it will come to you right away. You need to work it on yourself. A lot. You can’t just go anywhere and you’ll bump to “happiness”. It’s not as easy as that. In the past years, I’ve learned how to get rid sadness and just be happy. And here are the things I know that helped me through this unending chase to happiness.
People these days doesn’t seem to appreciate little things anymore. They keep wanting and seeking more than what they have. Is it hard to appreciate that you can sleep comfortably on your bed at night in your room? I guess not. I, sometimes, feel guilty sleeping with lot of pillows because I know, some people in this world sleep without a pillow or blanket because they live in the streets. We are still lucky! Please remind yourself to appreciate these things.
If you keep seeking things that’s nearly impossible for you to get, then it can affect totally your happiness. You’ll get depressed and feel desperate, eventually. It’s okay to wanting some luxuries in life but it’s not good if you let it rule within you. Be thankful for the things you have right now, in time you’ll get it, if it’s right just for you. Be happy and contented.
In this era where in everything that’s worth envying for can be seen everywhere on social medias, every single hour, this is hard. I get it. And I understand. I also, went through this phase, seeing someone posting a nice stuff she own, someone who’s been traveling monthly, and I felt unlucky and considered my life sad. So terrible, right? It’s the hardest thing that had to figure out how to quit.
Though I am used to be contented enough for the things I can only have, it’s still hard to cut off that negative feeling. I am not exempted with this. I needed a lot of time to accept my whole being. I remember my mother’s line when I’m in my teenage years “Do not compare yourself to anyone because we are all have struggles in life.” Self explanation. Instead of comparing yourself to them, let’s work out our goals and achieve our dreams, one at a time. Focus on yourself, do the things that you know can give you happiness. And if possible, minimize your time spending on social medias. Life’s happier outside internet world. Nobody’s got his life together, love, chill.
Find and work out your passion
Is blogging your kind of thing but you’re afraid to put up a blog? Now, do it! It’s normal to be scared of when you’re about to start something you aren’t sure that you’ll get succeed. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. Go on, do the things you are afraid to do because of rejections. It will change your life, I promise. I created this blog because I know this will give me some sort of happiness. Well, I’ve been blogging for years in Tumblr but it’s different here. This is fun because I can pour in all my creativity which I can share my own thoughts, life stories and hoping to inspire some people out of this.
Just don’t be afraid to try. Try everything you’ve always wanted to do and see how it will affect your life. Some may fail and disappoint you. And some of them will probably make you smile and jump. Keep them. Pursue each of them. Do not give up things that are making you happy, they said. Then don’t give up with them!
Choose your kind of people
“No man is an island.” Cliché yet so true. You can’t be alone all the time of your life. You need to have some group of people that will somehow remind you things you don’t realized by yourself alone. For some reason, many of us did the same mistake here. Let’s be honest, we thought having many friends is great. It’s like everyone’s your friend. Which is a huge mistake almost everyone commits. Yes, to have lot of friends is great but having few great friends is way better. Grown up people, you got me right there? A thousand of Facebook friends is not a real thing in the real world.
Do not hesitate to cut off ties with people that doesn’t benefit your happiness at all. That’s a toxicity you don’t ever need in life. Walk out from those kind of relationships/friendships. They only suck the energy in you, creating dramas you don’t deserve.
Choose people you have to deal with for a long time. People who know how to treat you rightfully. If you know your worth, then you know what kind of people you should be with. You don’t need to please them just so they’ll be friends with you. It just click as you both like to pigging out at midnight, love the same fashion style, or you share favorite band. It’s shouldn’t be forceful, it’s all natural.
Life is short to be with someone who doesn’t even know how to make you smile. Close the door for them. And move on.
Forgiveness and Acceptance
I am the person who doesn’t hold grudges for a long time. I easily give forgiveness to someone who made wrong in me and that’s it. I don’t need to dwell on things that someone’s done or said to me, it’s a waste of time and energy. We all make mistakes, that’s the reality. It’s even harder for me to forgive myself than forgiving others. It will take me some nights to think about the guilt before I give in. Forgive yourself, too. It’s hard. But I know you can do it, just give yourself some time.
And after you forgive, you have to accept. Accept that the things that happened in the past can never be rewritten or deleted. They’re there to remind you the lessons you’ll need as you go on with this journey. You have to accept that things won’t stay the same as they are forever, people will change and you change. Certain people will do wrong in you, will make you feel unworthy, some will break your heart and it’s okay. It’s all part of this chaos they called life. Forgive them and accept that they don’t meant to be in your life anymore. Cheer yourself up and grab some fries and ice cream, it helps.
Love yourself over again
When was the last time that you treated yourself out? In this case, you have to prioritize yourself. I don’t have a problem with me taking myself out and eat a cake, because I want to and I love cakes! If it makes me happy, I’ll probably get it. As long as you know your limit, we’ll get along.
Loving yourself is accepting every flaws and imperfections you have. That’s pretty difficult. How can you love someone who constantly doing mistakes and doesn’t have a perfect skin? This has to be work out for a long time. You need to learn to appreciate yourself and it won’t happen overnight. Take baby steps, understand that you don’t need to be perfect for yourself to be loved. Everyone possesses flaws. There are things that you alone can do and nobody could as perfectly as you do. Stop self-deprecating. Love yourself in a way that people around you will love you as you do with yourself.
Love yourself, always. And if some days you feel like hating it again, go back to the reasons why you’re still alive.
As my favorite happiness mantra says “Worry less. Smile more. Laugh often.” Let’s live the life we have with this line. Cheers to the happiness you are about to share to the world!
Published by Jona Javier