Life is truly about giving–but not merely in the sense of being generous. Rather, it’s about learning early and permanently when to give effort and when to give up.
Giving up can actually be one of the more noble steps of submission to overwhelming evidence. And giving effort is essential to achieve progress.
I bring this up in relationship to your question, because in order to have a good family gathering, you must know when to give effort and when to give up.
First of all, give up on changing people. You can’t, you won’t and you shouldn’t.
If Uncle Fred is a Republican, he will probably leave Thanksgiving evening equally as convinced. If Aunt Margaret is a Democrat, she will likewise ride her donkey out the door. And if any of your relatives claim to be atheists or insist that “all baptism must be by immersion or you’re not saved,” it is always a Godless pursuit to change those who are “all wet.”
So what can you do during a family gathering to be productive, but faithful to your own ideals? There is one simple, easy step:
Never speak in the abstract.
- Don’t talk about doctrine.
- Don’t talk about beliefs.
- Don’t talk about Vladimir Putin.
Talk about your own life–your own goals, your own anecdotes–and in so doing, you gently confirm your beliefs.
In other words, if someone says “the homeless are a blight on the conscience of America,” wait until the conversation changes, and then double back and say, “I was waiting at a light at Wal-Mart, and a fellow was there with a sign, looking for money, so I rolled down my window with two dollars and I gave it to him, and he was so appreciative that it nearly made me cry.”
Then leave it alone.
When it comes to religion, humor is always your best vehicle:
“Well, I was driving down the road and I was nearly out of gas in a country setting and I wasn’t sure I would find a station. So I kept my eyes open, checked my GPS, but also–call me crazy–I said a little prayer. I’m not sure which one worked, or whether they worked together, but three minutes later I was at a gas station getting fueled up.”
Since you can’t change people, give up on that and instead, give effort into what you can change: your attitude toward people.
Published by Jonathan Cring