Words From Dic(tionary) Consensual...November 30, 2018

Consensual: (adj) relating to or involving consent or consensus.

For the first forty years of a man’s life, he travels with a buddy.

It is his penis, Dick.

Wang. Willy. Or any other names that have been associated with the partner.

This particular companion is not always in accordance with the man himself. He has plans of his own, desires he pursues, hobbies he likes and although only he 
has a very small capacity for brain storage, thinks in his own lane.

This creates a problem: the man may be a complete gentleman who would never offend a woman in any way, shape or form. But the buddy–as we have called him–does not hold to that approach. Matter of fact, he thinks the gentle approach is tentative and will leave both of them unsatisfied.

So even though the man may meet a lovely woman whom he wants to ingratiate through courtesy and conversation, Mr. Excitement would like to speed things along.

For instance, he’s never quite sure what the purpose is for the second drink or a bevy of compliments. He sees no particular reason not to tell a dirty joke–just to see if there might be an open door, so to speak. The best word to describe this second part of the duo is “inappropriate.”

So although men under the age of forty try desperately to keep Mr. Inappropriate out of their general interactions with women, he pops up and speaks out.

Because of this, there probably isn’t a man alive who has not been offensive, and pushed forward too much, taking away the sanctity and the beauty of a consensual agreement.

Mr. Pants Dweller is totally sold out to the idea that every woman wants him–she just hasn’t discovered her yearning as of yet.

Fortunately, in most situations–and especially after the age of forty–the overbearing roommate mellows out a little bit,  enabling a relationship to bloom.

So do yourself a favor. Stop being defensive around women about how you “never, ever” have said anything untoward or out of bounds.

Just explain that you’re trying to train a pet monkey when to show up with the banana.

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