What's in the Backpack?

What's in the Backpack?

Sep 1, 2016, 12:26:30 AM Opinion

Ever wonder what’s in someone’s bag? I don’t mean a woman’s purse. I mean that huge backpack the kid walking to class ten feet in front of you is lugging around. You would think that it’s full of books, spirals and other college-y things, right? Guess again. That’s probably true for some people--freshman  tend to fit in this category--but probably not for that second semester senior who’s had just about enough of heavy book lugging and upper back pain.

I took the liberty of asking some fellow students on my campus to dig deep into the pockets of their bags to see what they found. Most students pretty much carried the same basic stash of college necessities: hand sanitizer, pens, paper, electronics…etc. But you’d be surprised what some were able to pull from the depths of their bottomless packs. One guy pulled so much stuff from his rucksack that I thought he had somehow copied Hermione's undetectable extension charm but eventually his seemingly endless slew of things came to an end but sadly he hadn't been carrying anything out of the ordinary.

I wouldn’t exactly call this research—more like a nosy blogger comparing the trinkets in the black abyss disguised as a sparkly Victoria Secret knapsack to the bags of seemingly normal college students. Most people answered truthfully and were happy to open their bags so Nosy Kat could see what was inside—there was no sleuth-y snooping—I take privacy very seriously. Note: No backpacks were harmed during this escapade of nosieness.

Some were a little dramatic, like the nerdy English majors I’ve recently been privileged to befriend. They’ve each decided on a code name for several reasons but mostly because code names are cool (or so they tell me)—heads up, they all chose Disney characters.

“A bottle of fairy dust, a tincture for warts made from Eye of Newt, and a garter I made from that chick that looked at me funny yesterday,” Mulan mused as she rummaged through her pack dramatically, “oh and Belle’s mom, why do you ask?”

“Research,” I replied casually sipping coffee from a paper cup eyeing our friend Belle.

Belle hugged her grey, withered back pack protectively, “I told you I didn’t steal your coffee mug. It was Elsa!” (Belle had in fact borrowed a travel mug from me the week earlier when she thought I wasn't looking and has failed to return it.)

Elsa looks up at Belle incredulously, “I don’t even drink coffee!”

Belle looks away hiding a smirk and Elsa continues, still eyeing Belle out of the corner of her eye. “Because you asked so nicely, I will tell you what resides in my amazing Harry Potter shoulder bag. That’s right, Mulan, be jealous.”

All kidding aside, here’s what I found:

First Aid kit

Vitamins (Multi-vites and Hair Skin and Nails included)

Caffeine pills because for seniors, coffee just doesn't cut it anymore.

Kurieg K-Cups—always be prepared

Chap Stick (Most people had those EOS eggs, myself included)

Lots and lots of colored pens

A can opener (LOL)

A blanket—I guess coats just aren’t cutting it any more

Chalk, the kind for drawing on sidewalks because let's face it: we're all adults here.

Socks (the guy swore they were clean)

Math majors are seriously attached to their expensive graphing calculators, so naturally I found quite a few of those.

Expo markers

Star Wars playing cards

A turtle keychain that poops when you squeeze it

An Edward figurine missing his left foot??? (Seriously, Twilight was so five years ago...)

Star Wars stickers

American Flag Duct Tape

Foreign money left over from a travel study

A Chuckie Cheese token

A single twist tie

An audio adapter

A VERY specific piece of knotted rope that I was not allowed to touch in any way, shape, form, or fashion.

A stuffed tiger in case of grade related stress panic attacks.

Wireless gaming mouse

10ft IPhone charging cable (available on Amazon)

The Analytical Chemistry major had gas tight syringes and refused to tell me why. But know this: if anyone was going to do something sneaky and possibly illegal and get away with it--it would be him.

A shoe. Seriously, one shoe… Not even going to ask.

Stick-on googly eyes stolen from the library craft table (I may or may not have caught this person sticking them on random books in the library not ten minutes after their bag reveal)

Gummy Bears



Mary Kay Pamphlets

Mace (pepper spray for all of those girls with cops for dad's)

A Bucky's key chain that supposedly represents the loathing the owner has for the local tourist attraction, but was probably a gift from her brother.

Food Coloring left over from some in class forensic experiment that I do not remember despite having supplies said student with the food coloring.

I even came across someone who carried toilet paper in a plastic baggy, not sure why and I couldn’t bring myself to ask but the poor dear was an exchange student.

Pocket knives were also a common find; along with various charger cords, USB drives and loose jewelry that someone had been missing for at least a week. I even found a compass in Whistle's bag but I'm not sure if he could use it.

At the end of the day, the Edward Cullen figurine and the gas tight syringes are tied for the weird college student backpack content award.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever kept in your backpack? Personally the weirdest thing I keept in my black whole of a bag was the lock pick kit I acquired after an incident involving an extremely drunk classmate and a closet door. Everything else is quite normal...I think.

XOXOXO  WildeKat’s


Published by Kat Wilde

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