Everyone at some point in their lives will ask themselves 'why am I here, what am I doing with my life?'. I have thought this recently as this point in my life feels a lot like purgatory, just stuck, feeling lost and meaningless. It is very hard to build up motivation and make changes to your life when these feelings overwhelm you.
Is the point in life to find your purpose, your gift and share it with the world? Is it to spread happiness and positive vibes into others lives? Or is the point to not ask questions but to just live? If we are just asking questions, worrying, are we truly living?
I am consumed by feelings of anxiety and no excitement for the future. I am just dragging myself along with the motions of everyday life feeling that I am not progressing, not making any positive impact on my own life. I need something, anything to bring a buzz back into my life. Change. Surely, if I change the things in my life that are bringing me down surely I will get my mojo back! I need to sack my job in and focus on myself, I want to get back into my fitness and work towards revising for my masters.
It isn't that easy, I have seen people telling others 'If you're not happy, change it, rather than complaining and whining about it'. But it is not that easy, if I sack my job how can I possibly afford to run my car, to save for my masters to afford days out? All these pressures will mount up and burden my shoulders with an even heavier weight. Will this be outweighed by having a better fulfilment of life, more happiness, more success? I am yet to find out, I can only close my eyes and jump.
I know a few people who are in the same position as me, really trying to pull things together to reassure themselves they are doing the right thing. Positive thinking has a huge part to play, to stay motivated and happy. Sometime I wish I just didn't have to worry about all these things and just do what I want, I know that I can't I will literally break down, just sit on the floor and cry just like they do in the movies, all dramatic with the storm outside, my sort of pathetic fallacy, just everything around me representing my emotions like the world feels it with me, letting me know I am not alone. Dramatic but why not?
Everyone has their own view on their meaning to their lives, it is a personal thing, everyone has their own passions, goals and dreams. That is what makes their life theirs, we shouldn't judge peoples choices as everyone's background is different, everyone makes different choices. No one deserves to feel their life is pointless, no one deserves to feel lost in this world. Everyone should try to reach out and ask someone if they are okay, how life is going, look them meaningfully in the eye to show them you care, show them they are not alone.
Published by Katy-Jane Pitt