It's hard sometimes being the better parent. If I could just take all of my innate, well managed knowledge of how to care for, guide, and keep our little one thriving and transfer it to my partner we would be unstoppable. I popped our little bundle of joy out of my vagina and BAM my mind was flooded with all the answers and comfort knowing I would lead her through childhood without a hitch. I am so thankful that it happened this way for me. ....If only that happened with my husband...
Man. What a batch. I can't believe I'm even reading this lady's post and giving her views.
Sound like your current thoughts? It's nice to meet you. Just give it a second.
Man. I love her jokes, I can't wait to see what she actually thinks!
Sound like your current thoughts? Hey mom, thanks for reading. I miss your face and beef pot roast.
This is my husband and I moments after meeting our little lady face to face. Doesn't it look so serene and peaceful and beautiful? If I could properly caption this, it would go something like this "Awee she's so beautiful. I'm so glad she's out of my body. Now WTF do I do with her." I have continued to feel this way for most of our 11 months together on this planet.
However, here we are 11 months later and I've noticed a shift in the way decisions are made about our baby. An "issue" arises, my husband looks at me, I make a decision and usually we go with it. Why? I mean I still don't know crapola in the grand scheme of things but I'm the end all be all of our "Can she eat this", "Should we bring a coat", "Is it time to call the doctor", "Will this kill her" decisions.
Because I am a B$*@h sometimes, that's why.
I catch myself far too often saying things like, "Well why did you ____?" or "You could've just ____" or "What are you doing?". In my statements I'm sending a message and that subliminal message is My way is obviously better, so why didn't you think like me? Because I have chosen to be a twit waffle I have created an atmosphere with a level of Mom knows best and therefore Dad should go through Mom before making decisions.
NOW let me be clear- should my husband look for something for 5 hours when I can see it from where I sit and stop the painful process? No. That is clearly a legitimate Mom superpower and I should speak up. BUT did it really matter that on a day spent around the house my little lady wore a onesie that was 3 months (12 weeks for you annoying parents) too big? No. So me making a comment about it 1. was unnecessary and 2. created a small moment that now results in "Hey, is this outfit ok for G to wear today" anytime my man wants to get involved in the getting ready process. Way to go! Mission accomplished, you jerk.
I find almost nothing more attractive than my partner wanting to be a healthy, loving, involved Dad for our children.
*Que Husband walking in door with an ice cream cone for me, pulling my Mom out of one pocket to stay with G and tickets to something extravagant that he paid for with his surprise lottery winnings out of his other pocket*
So, why the eff then do I undermine his efforts with my unneeded words? Even worse, then get annoyed with him because he "won't just make decisions himself and act on them"
Once again, because I'm a twit waffle who needs to be slapped with the pimp hand of reality every now and again. I spent the first three months of my baby's life wondering if I was suffocating her instead of feeding her with my boob. I've spent the months after secretly thinking I'm going to accidentally create a monster who ultimately will hate me and ruin society and wholeheartedly wondering how many pieces of cat food she can continue to sneak and eat before being poisoned.... I've got no room to be so nitpicky on a man doing a kick A job of being a Dad.
Bottom line is I firmly believe parenting is comprised of a lot of guessing and then just better levels of guessing. We all make mistakes and make bigger mistakes. Deciding to give our daughter baby food and then breastmilk shortly after she had just thrown up was a medium sized mistake that resulted in projectile vomit all over my body; my husband did not seize the opportunity to let me know he wouldn't have done that because he's far kinder than me.
It is my job as a wife and fellow parent to support my husband and the father of my child to be the best he can be, speak up on the big issues, let the little ones work themselves out, and give grace as much as I want to receive it. It is my job to let him be a Dad and enjoy the lessons together.
Originally posted on Stay At Home Working Mom
Published by Kayla C