Ma Vie Sans Toi (My Life Without You)

While I waited for the Imam to finish,
Your brother and mother watching,
Uncle gazing into my eyes,
Asking himself, “did I make a mistake,
He’s American, my niece is Indonesian.”

My mind sketched illustrations into the sand,
Faut-il qu’il m’en souvienne,
Remembering days of sorrow and joy,
Both flooding back,
J’ai voulu ce matin te rapporter des,
Promising to bring roses every morning,
Life consisted of 50+ years of marriage and promises,

You sat quietly, eyes silent, hands motionless,
I wasn’t sure if excitement was present,
My heart kept writing love letters,

Une nuit blanche, ça ne veut rien quand on est seul,
Elle exige le partage,
Alors la ville s’offre sans penser à la mort,
Les gargouilles font leur travail d’exorciste,

Obituaries written, tombstones planted,
Learned one single sleepless night isn’t worth much,
If it isn’t shared with the daughter whose mother was suspicious,
Only then do night skies paint Mona Lisa,
As thoughts of death await further instruction,

Masjid clock ticked, hours passed,
Your uncle approved and the imam finished,

Je me présenterai net et propre devant Dieu et m’est avis que mes prières gagneront en pureté,
Dorénavant je ne vivrai plus d’aumônes,
Je vais me trouver un travail honnête et d’un rapport honorable,

Despite history, my soul and intellect,
Clean in front of Allah,
Wishing for my prayers to be accepted,
In search of honest and honourable work,

Amour veut tout sans nombre, amour n’a point de loi,
Even though religious figures had us sign upon dotted lines,
Love provides unconditional forgiveness regardless of laws,

Not only did I wish for us procreate,
For you to be the mother of future generations,
Travel and photograph combined memories,

Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre,
C’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction,
During our marriage ceremony my eyes met yours,
Now I wish for us to stand together achieving greatness,

When you are with friends tell them,
Quand il me prend dans ses bras,
Il me parle tout bas,Je vois la vie en rose,
While he holds me, every word spoken is elegant,
I see the world through rose-colored glasses,

Asked by the imam if I had any last words,
Not sure if honesty was preferred,

J’ai aimé jusqu’à atteindre la folie,
Ce que certains appellent la folie,
Mais ce qui pour moi, est la seule façon d’aimer,

My love will drive us to the point of madness,
Which to me, is the only sensible way to love,

So if you feel like it is too much,
Understand madness, love,
Drove me to acquire your heart,

….