Recently, while having a heartfelt conversation with one of my dear friends, I received a revelation that completely changed my view of relationships. As we were discussing previous and current friendships, my friend said one word that made me realize not only how valuable I am, but also how valuable others are to me. The one word that altered my perspective was the word, "privilege". The idea of a relationship being a privilege had never crossed my mind. However, I now understand that I am a privilege and not an obligation. In other words, I am a benefit and a special advantage opposed to an ordinary right. Yes, I am a privilege and so are you!
Many times we allow people to take our presence, in their lives, for granted. People will misuse us and abuse us, while treating us as though we have no value. Unfortunately, we often unintentionally give them the approval to do so. It is not uncommon to be involved in relationships, whether with family or friends, which lack balance. We sometimes believe that we hold a place in someone’s heart and/or mind that has never been open to us. In an effort to secure these places, we often find ourselves fighting for relationships that lack the loyalty we believe they hold. We forget or fail to realize our importance, when we encourage ourselves to believe that we need relationships with people who devalue our worth. We do not need these relationships nor should we accept them. We are privileges and not entitlements!
We are not guarantees because someone believes they meet the qualifications to benefit from us. We are not programs offered by the government that lack depth and commitment. When we open our hearts, minds, lives, thoughts and innermost beings to people that is a choice. Those choices are often made out of love, respect, honor, devotion, and trust. The same feelings and emotions that prompt our choice to give of ourselves, in relationships, should be reciprocated by the other persons. We are worthy of the same love, respect, honor, devotion and trust that we give because we are privileges and not entitlements!
People do not automatically have a right to our time, but instead, it is a gift that we freely decide to give. Our conversations, advice, wisdom, and experiences are not obligations and should; therefore, be appreciated as special rights. When we decide to include others in the lives of our families, that is an honor. By sharing our weddings, anniversaries, the success of our children, college graduations, new arrivals, and more, we are giving people the opportunity to take part in the special moments of our lives. These moments should be savored by people who are also willing to share theirs.
Only people, who understand the importance of a two- way relationship and the respect that is imperative in that relationship, should be granted the rights to your sacred memories. Having access to your life is a privilege! The opportunity to share your joys and fears is a privilege! Someone being allowed to bond with your spouse and children is a privilege! We should no longer allow people to treat us as though they are entitled to us and take us for granted. We should no longer allow people, who disrespect our feelings, by ending relationships without warning or explanations, to occupy our hearts and our thoughts. We are valuable, and our relationships should be treated as such. Remember, you are a privilege, not an entitlement!
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Published by Kwajalein Johnson