I have a confession to make...

I have a fetish... No, it doesn't involve feet or people in animal costumes. Mine happens to be a lot more fashionable. Ok, well thats kind of cheating. It's fashion as a whole. For a long time I have been fascinated by the power that fashion has, but never really knew if there was anything I could do with it beyond pouring over every fashion magazine possible and posting the odd photo of a favourite outfit on Instagram. Okay, maybe never is an over statement too. I had been more than interested in launching my own Youtube Channel. But, for reasons ranging from worrying about what others would think, to worrying that I couldn't afford it I put it off for two years. In May, I decided to take the leap with no expectations. I am more than perfectly aware that success on a platform like Youtube doesn't happen overnight by far. I knew that subscribers, working with brands and everything else doesn't come for some for years. Those were the things I knew, but also was aware didn't really apply to me right now. But, as I decided to delve into the world of filming in my bedroom (keep your mind out of the gutter 😜) I realized that things that I knew about the Youtube world were not only much more important than I thought, but also harder to achieve.

I knew nothing about cameras...

If I'm honest, I still don't know a lot about cameras but I have grown in my skills considerably. I tried to navigate my sister's old Canon Rebel t3 DSLR camera that could only film in 720p. Hence why all my old videos are slightly blurry or out of focus. I had no idea how to resolve that issue. But it was growing in importance as people won't watch your video if it isn't good video quality. Especially with the popular Youtubers continuously upping the video quality game. So, I purchased a new (and hella expensive) Canon t5i which has helped my content improve in quality and it happens to be easier to use. If you check me out, and see the odd problem- I will slowly but surely get the kinks worked out.

The background is so important...

I was aware of this fact, but only realized how I would struggle when I sat down to film my first video. Everything you put on camera very quickly becomes part of your brand. I had a very clear vision of what I wanted to represent and what I wanted viewers to connect to. I also am very aware of what my taste and style is. Which makes my selection of clothes, general aesthetic and desired look for my videos easy to think about. I just didn't think it would be so hard to achieve. I am a mix of modern and classic. I love sleek black and white in modern design but that also still has a classic "homie" feel. I have a problem though, in my house I am surrounded by rich browns, blues and greys. Which yes, does look beautiful if you were to come over for a coffee in the afternoon, but it isn't what I wanted my videos to look like. If you haven't guessed, I have yet to move out of my parent's house and into my own humble abode. Hey! Sometimes that takes time! I did just finish university which I managed to pay for it all myself. I have a lot to be proud of! Moving out will take a little bit of time but I have managed to figure out a compromise to tie me over. My bedroom (imagine that) is the best representation of my general taste, my bedroom also happens to be one of the smallest living spaces in my house besides the bathrooms. So now, I currently sit on a tiny bench, my camera a few inches from my face and as zoomed out as possible with my studio lights within arms distance. Its comical if you were to watch me try and set up. I may have other options if I can work some kinks out.Its what I need to live with for the time being though. I will just continue to dream of my sleek apartment until it is a reality.

Fashion is something you can barely do alone...

There are tons of genres of Youtube video making that is easy to create with your tripod being your only friend. Fashion just isn't one of them. This poses some awesome opportunities if you play your cards right, but it can also make a lot of video ideas downright frustrating. There's only so many videos you can do sitting and holding up all the clothes you've bought before you are just like every other pretty girl that likes shopping. It's not interesting to viewers as much as it once was years ago. For me, I have not struggled to come up with ideas. I've struggled to come up with how to actually accomplish the creative idea in my head. This struggle doesn't just sit in the Youtube world but also in the social media stratosphere that you use to promote yourself. Instagram is my biggest culprit of this. Fashion is extremely visual, but the only way to stand out is by making the way your outfits are photographed visually interesting and on brand. That means mirror selfies can't be everything. Which in turn means someone else needs to take a good enough photo for you, it is very much the same for a video or that lookbook you're dreaming of. I was fortunate enough to be contacted by Vladimir (taikovv on instagram) through Instagram for collaboration opportunities which has lead to me possibly acquiring a videographer that will film what I need for free. I also managed to train my boyfriend enough in the art of photo taking and have slowly worked up to filming, but it's not the same as someone who knows how to do it professionally. The next biggest problem with needing other people is having to work with everyone's schedules to accomplish what you want. Working with my boyfriend is fine as we can put that into our hang out days, but with other people it can set one video back WEEKS! So sometimes it looks like my channel isn't active or that I have run out of ideas. Not true! The videos I want to film are just taking forever and I can only be done with other people are available. It's probably the biggest struggle of them all.

It can be very expensive...

At the beginning of my Youtube life I had to buy studio lights, memory cards, external mics. Then, I need current items to talk about and show in my videos so you need to do shopping. It can become a vicious circle as you are always looking at how to improve your videos and what you should film next. As fashion is always changing, there's always something that you want to buy. Living at home at the beginning has helped as I am not having to choose between new studio lights and my rent. It's just good to keep in mind if you are wanting to produce videos consistently and with quality.

The way you come off on camera can make you or break you...

I personally find the girls that squeal on camera over highlighter or a purse are so over dramatic, fake and annoying. I can also see why others would like them and find it entertaining and captivating to watch. That is just not my personality and I want to be myself on my channel. The struggle to see how your personality looks and sounds like on camera is a process that can take a while. In my videos, I think I can come off as too serious sometimes which is not as attention grabbing to watch. I'm not a serious person, but I think the way I have spoken in some of my videos is more so how I speak in a conversation in person. It just doesn't translate very well on camera. I am still in the process of finding a balance. I don't want to force the fun or funny portion of my personality, but I am way more goofy and witty than I sometimes come across as. Some new Youtubers will try to recreate the loud and very loved personalities like Jaclyn Hill only to discover that it doesn't work as well for them. Something that is over done and already watched can only be done so many times. Jaclyn Hill is successful off of being her, you need to be successful off of being you. I want to be me, but also entertaining. I think I'm still trying to find out how to showcase myself on camera.

So there you have it!

Those are the current things that are overwhelming, confusing and challenging on the platform that is Youtube. Will that stop me from doing it? No. If anything, it has made me enjoy it more and I have built an appreciation for everyone that does this for a living. We will see where I go with it... hopefully in a bigger bedroom at some point. So do what you want to do and don't worry about the obstacles. Those work out if you work hard. Check me out down below:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvEa1nYZ9fJiCc_djF17Wlg

Insta: itslaurenski