Married, yet single

Yet another confusing title?

How can marriage be connected to single-hood?

What does it mean to be in a marital bond, yet being single?

 How can one and one add up to one alone?


     Too many questions may arise in your mind about this particular aspect. While moving along with my course of thoughts, let me start with a disclaimer that this title does not reflect my status in any way! Besides, it is not born out of any argument with my dearest hubby or as a revenge against the marital bond with the better-half. It is purely fueled with experiences, adventures, observations and beliefs, inspired by this interesting association called ‘marriage.’ A relationship that connects two individuals for the rest of their lives under a sacred bond of love, marriage is all about being there for each other. As partners, friends, teachers, rivals, buddies and philosophers, while these two promise commitment for a lifetime, innumerable factors are added together in the process. Love, care, trust, honesty, transparency, respect, happiness, sacrifice, compromise and many other aspects that I am still hunting for. Truly an unusual bond that occupies the center stage all of a sudden, life revolves around that one ‘half’ who makes it all ‘better’!

     If you observe closely, most of the funniest jokes arise from the silly arguments between a man and his wife. Though both of them jump at the first opportunity for pointing out mistakes, shifting the blame or proving their innocence, the two cannot live without each other for long. After all, who will love to lose an easy prey for a lifetime? After staying together for days and years, as a comfort zone surrounds the two in love, a happy aura lingers forever. Difficult to live with, yet wanted for a lifetime, as the couple walk along every stage of life, there are numerous adventures along the way.

  So, if marriage is all rosy and happy, what was the motive to associate it with single-hood?

    Though two individuals choose to spend their lives as partners, there is no mandatory need to lose their individuality. While staying together as a close-knit team, they can still harbor their interests, hobbies, passion and desires. Marriage does not demand an end to the individual life due to the entry of another member, it simply means being there for each other as moral support. The most common fear that troubles prospective brides and grooms is the sacrifice of personal interests or end to the carefree life. While marriage does bring its share of responsibilities and duties, it never translates into an endless journey of compromise.

      As individuals both the husband and wife can enjoy their interests just like good, old times. While some activities may seem interesting as a couple, not every adventure has to be partnered for happiness. It is possible to engage in own interests and passion, yet enjoy the fruits of success together. As each one of us have our own individual personality, it is impossible to expect permanent changes, post marriage. Just because the two are bonded by marital bliss does not mean that wife will enjoy football match like her husband or husband will watch every single romantic movie as enjoyed by his wife. While it is desirable to accompany each other in different interests and celebrate the union as a team, it is equally necessary to offer some space. By forcing participation or expecting contribution, the relation may lose its essence instantly. Though one may defend the need to support each other through every aspect, it does not mean every tiny, little thing in life. While significant matters do demand the need to act as one, it cannot relate to entire life as a whole. It is necessary to respect individual space and spend some alone time too. Marriage does not mean that the two should follow each other as a two-in-one package always, it can also translate into exploring some aspects alone, while sharing the experiences as a story.

    Respecting the likes and dislikes as individuals brings out the best in a marriage. From food habits to vacation ideas, from fun activities to clothing styles as both of them enjoy the differences, there is guaranteed happiness and fun in the process.

  So next time, the society makes you feel guilty for not following your husband/wife blindly, make sure to go through the following list. It will act as a reminder that marriage is not about replacing everything by partnership, but enhancing the experience of single-hood with support of a compatible better-half!


It is absolutely acceptable to:

  • Go out with your group of friends without dragging your partner along or forcing yourself to invite him/her.


  • Hold a diametrically opposite view about a person/place/animal or thing.


  • Spend quality alone time to pamper yourself.


  • Plan a trip with parents or friends without the presence of partner.


  • Have same equation with friends and relatives, just as the way before marriage.


  • Engage in hobbies, adventures, activities or tasks enjoyed by self.


  • Disagree with the partner, yet respect their individual opinions and differences.


Enjoy the journey of marital bliss, while making frequent trips to the land of single-hood, after all marriage is all about bringing out the best in each other!






Published by Lavanya


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