Beautiful Mess

Beautiful Mess

It's been a while since the last time I made a post. I should try to unleash my writer side more often. The featured photo that I used was actually mine. This was taken at Sampaloc Lake, Laguna (Philippines)

Anyway, while looking at this beautiful scenery..behind this photo is actually a confused photographer. If you're going to look at it, it looks like a normal calm lake. But to be honest, If you're going to see it personally, it was mad. It was wild. The water is high, there were big waves. You might be asking yourself now, What am I talking about? 

The lake actually is the same like people. It may look calm outside but actually, behind those smiles are unspoken words that are left unsaid. People are more likely have the attitude to judge others with their physical appearance.  Well, everyone does that. Including me, of course. But as I get older, the more I understand the reason why some people smoke..why some people loves alcohol that much and why some write at the middle of the night. 

I remembered when I was young, I couldn't understand why my friend likes to smoke. It's quite a bothersome for me since I have asthma. I keep on telling him he should stop because it doesn't help at all. He always tells me "You'll understand soon." and just a couple of month, he committed suicide. He wasn't an open book. He was very hard to read. I wasn't a help at all. I never noticed his pain. Every stick of the cigarettes he consumed was actually a representation of him getting tired of his life. 

Now that there's only 9 days left before I turn 19, I can actually understand it now. I do NOT smoke, but I like to drink and write. Most of the time I write at midnight because I'm more expressive at my thoughts and feelings. More honest.

I encountered my old self to some people, they keep asking me "Why do you drink? It won't solve your problem." I think I'll have to pass the "You'll understand soon." You're right, It won't solve anything. But it actually helps. It helps me to forget even just for a night the pain and the fear that's consuming me. 

The day after, will I be alright? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends actually. I guess what I'm pointing is, we people should now start noticing the Unoticable because those are things that sometimes destroys us.

Published by Lindsáey Erianne

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