Fight Fairly, Love Fiercely

Fight Fairly, Love Fiercely

Choose your battles.

When I was married the first time, my ex used to yell and scream at my oldest son because he would put ketchup on his eggs. Yeah you read that right. I would tell him it's not hurting anyone and he's eating it so what's the problem. He thought that it was hurting him because he found it gross. My son hasn't seen him in over 5 years and for good reason. 

It's called choosing your battles. Some things are not worth fighting over.  Like ketchup on eggs and someone asking to make themselves a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a cafeteria because they dislike the meal being served. If it doesn't hurt anyone there's no reason to get all in a tizzy over it, is there? 

I think a lot of it is the personalities of the people who do this most often, they aren't happy unless there's tension and fighting, but if they look around themselves, they won't see a whole lot of friends backing them up. This is because nobody likes trying to talk to someone like that, they are always right even when they are wrong (which is usually almost all the time) and they just want to pick fights. 

I would call them bullies but I think there's more to it then that. I think they were bullied and as adults they are trying to take control back and they just can't. It really is sad but I can't change them, so it's better to walk away because it just isn't worth it.  At least that was the case with my ex, bullied all his life and the only way he felt in control was when he was bullying his kids and blaming everything on me. 

All I can do is hope these people find the help they need, that kind of high anxiety will cause physical problems later, mostly heart and blood pressure problems. 

Quit sweating the small stuff. The next time someone tries to pick a ridiculous fight with you, take a minute to think about how much this fight is really worth it to you, then make your move. 

Choose your battles, we only have so much time why waste it on things that don't matter? 

Tomorrow isn't guaranteed, spend your time wisely. As for the fighters, you're not their therapist and you can't change their behavior but you can make your point loud and clear without saying a word. 

That is toxic behavior and you are ready for a detox. Don't live with regrets.

Published by Liz Zemlicka

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