Life Lesson: Krampus Christmas

The holidays suck. There I said it!  It seems like the minute Thanksgiving hits, there's only one speed and it is way too fast for me. Not even a little bit close to ready for Christmas and more than likely won't be until Christmas Eve or at least the day before. 

I feel like my kids get more mouthy by the year and I'm left wondering why we bother getting them nice presents, they are spoiled rotten.  

In my frustration, I considered changing my wifi password and just sitting back to watch them panic, but with the oldest on my phone plan, that would be pointless. No electronics until the weekend seems fair but it won't stop the attitudes. I think Krampus needs to pay my house a visit...

In my horrible attempt at parenting (come on, it's not like I would ever beat them), I really want to have them watch the movie that was released last Christmas time, and put together a costume resembling Krampus himself. My only big problem is there is no way I could stand there in their room in costume and NOT bust out laughing uncontrollably. For this plan to work I would have to be wearing the costume, let them think mom went to work and scare the crap out of them. (Mind you I would not do this to the toddler, only the older two who understand the difference between fantasy and reality)  

As much fun as that sounds, I don't believe it will help. I am reasonably certain they are both immune to mom's psychological warfare, knowing them they would have counter measures in place, and I would be a very proud mama.  If they could stop fighting long enough to devise a plan to retaliate and worked together on it...Best. Christmas. Present. Ever.

See, it's about teaching life lessons people. Baby steps.

Maybe a scavenger hunt to find "missing" devices... anyone who knows me can see where this is headed...I will have them hunting all night and still not give them their devices back.  In the end, if they can tell me what they learned, they can have them back. (Not looking for the answer "mom's crazy" by the way). 

Before you bring out the stakes to burn me, I am teaching my kids that if they want something, earn it and your brother makes a better ally than enemy.  They won't go out on their own with that entitlement crap and they won't be surprised when life doesn't go their way, they will be equipped with the ability to manage disappointment and be productive.  

Just have to end this back talking crap.  Krampus may not be the answer to this but damn it would be fun to try...



Published by Liz Zemlicka


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