Dear people who write these things,
The rest of us have something to get off our chests. We’re going to be really honest here because other than doing these two things, we really like you as a person. No, really we do. We’re even friends. So take this letter as a piece of friendly love and concern for you and for our friendship.
Stop it. It’s annoying.
We all know that the letter isn’t to the person you claim it is to. It’s to us – it’s for everyone else to read – as if we’re supposed to read it because it now has Open Letter in the title.
The ‘open letter’ thing is a nice little fad right now that everyone seems to be jumping on board with. Please jump off of it. That’d be great. Adding those two words does not really change anything about what you were going to say. It doesn’t make you smarter or more refined. The person it’s addressed to is still not going to read what you wrote just because you addressed it to them and then posted it on a social media website. They just aren’t. They’re probably too busy. So stop fooling yourself into thinking that you are writing this letter to the person and allowing everyone else to have a peek. It’s not cute anymore. It’s annoying.
And to the people you only type “This” when they post a link to an article or opinion piece – stop. Please. “This” is not a statement. “This” ends up looking like shorthand for “See I found something that proves I’m right and everyone who disagrees with me is wrong or worse, only I don’t want to say that outright. I’m too busy trying to compose an Open Letter to someone and don’t have time to flesh out what ‘This’ actually means.” How about we be more honest – try being more creative. How about posting something like “See I told you so,” or “Na, na, na, boo, boo,” or using an emoji to express how right you are.
For the love of all things holy, please stop! Please. We’re begging. Don’t make us come up with a new fad to distract you with so that you start doing that instead.
Thank you for letting us get this off our chests.
Published by Matthew Best