And He Speaks

A couple of days ago, I [Michelle], started asking Yahweh to reveal to me something specific to study. I’ve learned to not be so surprised when He shows me something, but this time I was totally caught off guard. You know how it feels when you ask Him something, but you already have something in mind – and you kinda want Him to go with what you’re already feeling?! I can’t quite describe what I was already feeling, but I know it had something to do with spiritual attacks, which lead me to wanting to read about Nehemiah. . . . .

But Yahweh said no.

Out of nowhere came Jonah.

What? Jonah? The guy who was told do something. Didn’t wanna. Fled. Got swallowed by a a big fish I can’t fathom. Ended up going where he was supposed to. Still wasn’t really all into what he was told to do. And the book ends with me thinking, “There has to be more!”

Yeah. Jonah.

But wait, I’ve heard Jonah ‘preached’ 37 times! Jonah. . . God’s Great Compassion! Jonah. . . Consumed by Unforgiveness! Jonah. . . Running from Grace! Jonah. . . Lessons on Prayer! Jonah. . . Understanding God’s Heart. . .  and on and on.

But still, Yahweh said – Jonah

I try not to immediately seek confirmation through other means [see it three times, hear it 2 times, open the Bible and it falls to it, etc]. But it’s funny though because doing some searching for another online Hebrew language learning class, what do ya know? One of the books to be read in all Hebrew was none other than Jonah. I wasn’t looking for that. I didn’t ask for that. But now the question is raised. . . .

Yahweh, what do You want me to see in Jonah?

So I started reading this morning, and this one verse popped out:

“However, the men rowed hard to bring the ship to land, but were unable, for the sea continued to grow more stormy against them.” – Jonah 1:13 (Scriptures Bible)

Then I started thinking and asking myself. . . . .

How often do I see a storm that I’m in and instantly try to row harder through it? (hello, pride)

Why do I divert to my own power to get through tough storms, knowing it makes it worse and that I simply can’t do it? (hello, pride and disobedience)

Have I ever truthfully admitted that I am the cause for the storm? (hello, liar, pride, anddisobedience)

At this point, the questions are rolling, and so are the tears. I wasn’t expecting to deal with this. It all seemed to work. Hit a rough patch. Try harder. Invite Yah into my circumstance. Get through it. Everything’s cool. Hit a rough patch. Try harder. Invite Yah in. Get through it. You see the cycle. But, I see what Yahweh is doing, though. I have to deal with it, because it seems that I rarely do. So I end up skirting a mountain when Yahweh is saying – stop, and go north.

In other words, He is telling me that I’m slacking. I haven’t arrived. The race isn’t over. And, I’m not perfect yet. I have to begin admitting that I have issues with pride, disobedience. . .  and the hardest to admit is – lying. It doesn’t look like the “normal pride” issues, or the “normal disobedience” issues, and definitely doesn’t look like the “normal lying” issues. However, they are are very much real issues.

To answer the questions I mentioned above would honestly take a book, but here are the short answers: all the time, because I’m more flesh-led in tough situations than I like to think (and show), and no. 

Needless to say, I have some repenting, praying, and chewing to do.

If this isn’t Yahweh’s grace and mercy on and in my life – then I don’t know what is. . .