Everyone makes mistakes. You make mistakes, he/she makes mistakes, we make mistakes too. Everyone makes a booboo from time to time, it’s an inevitable human habit that even the wise can, and will often make. So how is it that we still make mistakes, when our whole life we’re told to avoid making them? We have a history of handling mistakes and failures in an unpleasant way. If we’re able to embrace the realities of mistakes, we can liberate ourselves from our fears and learn a whole lot more about ourselves. With so much constantly changing, and being the individuals that we are, you can agree the world we live in is not a fixed place. There will be many events in our lives that may cause conflict with our values, resulting in impulsive reactions. So do not be disheartened when certain situations aren’t so obliging – it’s what makes us human. Here’s why it’s important to learn forgiveness and to LOVE mistakes, and how we can turn these booboos into WOOHOOs!
It’s one of those “Omg, what was I thinking?” moments. When our minds get so clouded, we can become inconsiderate, narrow minded, and confused with what’s right in the present moment and longer term (the bigger picture). Sometimes we don’t intentionally make mistakes, but they’re necessary. We need to make them to be able to learn and value the experience. You’ll never really learn from it or value the lesson if you don’t go through the mistake. It’s like “touching a hot stove”. It doesn’t look hot, so it’s appears to be okay. But once you touch it, your insight of the hot stove is now “it’s hot and it hurt me” – you don’t want to be making that mistake again. Our mindsets change all the time and not everyone will recognise the lesson straight away, sometimes it will take repeating mistakes to really understand the hidden lesson. It’s important to understand that there are always two sides and the truth. Be honest with yourself and your mistakes as they can be very defining lessons in your life.
This can be SO difficult! “It’s easy to forgive but hard to forget” – ever heard that before? Keep in mind that nobody is perfect. With mistakes, our natural instinct is to blame. You either blame the person or you blame yourself – forgiveness goes both ways here. When we are not able to forgive someone for their mistake, even when they’re in the process of redemption, we become the toxic one (don’t be that guy, or rather, that girlfriend who brings up past problems that are irrelevant to the current fight – guilty! LOL). We get it – it’s a build up of unresolved and insecure feelings. In time and with self-reassurance (which we should always practice), we will build up the courage to be able to forgive and move on. Put it this way, mistakes and failures cut deep, but you will always heal from them. You will be left with scars to remind you, because it is a lesson learnt. But this is the aim here! So embrace your battle scars.
It prompts us to learn more about ourselves and exposes our feelings.
This is the most enlightening part. After the storm, there will be sunshine and rainbows (sorry for the cheesiness) but that’s the best way to put it. Sometimes, what we think is a mistake is actually a change being made that we haven’t yet adapted to. For some reason, our initial reaction is to freak out and to blame, or think that it’s being done the wrong way because we wouldn’t personally do it that way.
When we make our poor decisions, sometimes our friends and family, rather than protecting us, need to allow us to learn from making the mistake on our own. This is something Steanne and I have learnt about each other. I (Merry) will listen, but will not take the advice onboard unless I make the mistake and learn from it first hand (as I can be stubborn). Steanne on the other hand, can be more passive-aggressive when receiving advice, depending on the delivery of it. We highly believe that this is why we hardly have a dispute (not to say that we don’t have disagreements here or there), because we understand each other and how we work. We have learnt that although we are best friends, we are still individuals and we have each other’s feelings to consider. When need be, I always try to put myself in Steanne’s shoes (pun not intended, haha!).
It helps us see what matters and what doesn’t.
It’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Especially when we’re not aware of it, it can be quite detrimental. An example from me (Merry) is a phase where I was constantly over-working myself. I stopped seeing a lot of my friends and I was never home – I was working so much, I even stopped taking care of myself, and what’s funny was that I thought I was happy. I recently came back from a holiday (which I had been dreading to go to – I know, how ungrateful of me!). When I arrived in my home country, it was an immediate culture shock. It was so shocking that it immediately humbled me. I now find myself incredibly grateful for all the things that I have right in the present, even when I am still pursuing so much. I’m glad I figured that mistake out now, rather than later in my 50’s, living in regret. So, sometimes a mistake can be so unconscious and unintentional like my example, but I would never have known unless I went through it. I wouldn’t of realised what really mattered to me – which was being grateful for what and who I already have in my life.
There’s always a lesson to be learned in whatever we are all currently going through. It may be an action or a decision that can pivot your life, and most definitely in a positive direction if we allow it. Please embrace it, keep your mind open, forgive, and most importantly, learn. Also remember to be kind to yourselves when you make mistakes – scolding yourself isn’t going to help. Be your own support, and guide yourself to make amends, and to move forward. We hope that this article was of help if so, please share your thoughts and stories with us. We love hearing them!
Steanne and Merry xx
Published by Mim & Fif Blog