In-laws are among the most complex relationship we run into during our life cycle. If given a chance to spouse about describing their relationship with their in-laws, they need more than 15 seconds to think before they speak.
This is an indication to re-think on relationship status quo. Every relationship has to go through various phases of relationship - forming, storming, norming and departing. Each phase has different timespan depending upon which relationship you're talking about.
Forming is essentially understanding each other's needs, desires, values etc. Both the parties engaged in a relationship has to respect the other individual, give them enough space and freedom.
However, once you start understanding the person, you're equipped to look from a pessimistic viewpoint. You start questioning their motives and thoughts. This is storming phase. You start questioning the actions and minutest of detail goes through your scrutiny.
But then comes a time when either you accept the fact that the relationship is going to work only, if I sacrifice or else we depart. If we value relationship, the norming phase is the longest of them all or if not, then it is the shortest, we go to next phase of departing.
With in-laws, the storming phase keeps on being active and the other phases which follows are not sequential in nature. That means, even if we're in the norming phase, we still have our storming phase up and running.
The reason is unknown but this relationship with in-laws has created lot more trouble than you can imagine. It causes in-laws to interfere in your life and family which is one of the top reasons to get divorced.
I believe with digital transformation and the new age, this relationship needs to evolve into a much mature one and the effort has to be made from both ends.
Published by Nimil Parikh