Star Wars Lunch

I wouldn’t dare call myself a hard-core Star Wars fan. I’ve never dressed up as a character. I’ve never been to a Star Wars convention (they have those, right?). But at some point in my life, I’ve seen the original movies and most of the prequels. (I still haven’t seen the newest installment but I can’t say I’m feeling an urgent need to). Still, I can identify almost all of the Star Wars references made in popular culture. (Did you catch the background music in the bar scene in Simon Pegg’s 2011 alien flick Paul?)

So, on this, the fourth of May, I began to ponder which character from the original movie trilogy I’d like to sit down and have a chat with. Let’s review my options: Vader? Leia? Han? Luke? Yoda? Chewie? Lando? Jabba?

Definitely not Luke; he’s too much of a whiner. (“But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!”) Ick. He’d probably spend the whole meal complaining about how the beer isn’t as cold as it used to be on Hoth.

Leia always gave me the impression of a spoiled rich girl, even after her transition from princess to psuedo-military leader. I think I’ll pass.

I’ve tried and I can’t think up enough hypothetical questions to occupy an hour with Chewbacca or Jabba the Hutt, even if we did have a translator. I’ve never sat up late wondering where they came from or what their awkward high school years were like. Next.

And while it would be interesting to find out the logistical details about how Lando Calrissian turned from a slimy card player into such a successful (still slimy) business man, I frankly don’t care that much.

So that leaves Darth Vader, Han Solo, or Yoda.

Darth Vader seems a little too cold and impersonal to have a leisurely lunch conversation with. He strikes me as a ‘eat-on-the-run’ kind of guy, if he eats at all. Plus I’d have to worry about saying something that offends him and being choked to death before the soup arrives.

Han Solo has potential. I bet he has more than a few interesting stories he could share. But his overall cockiness is a put-off and I’d have to wonder if some of his tales were stretched.

So that brings me to my final choice. If I could have lunch with a Star Wars character, I would pick Yoda.

Check out his description on the official website: “Yoda was a legendary Jedi Master and stronger than most in his connection with the Force. Small in size but wise and powerful, he trained Jedi for over 800 years, playing integral roles in the Clone Wars, the instruction of Luke Skywalker, and unlocking the path to immortality.”

Smart and badass. Now that’s interesting! I’d probably end up with more questions than answers, but it sure would be fun.