Earlier this week I once again became the target of a fat people hate website. And while I have survived this once and will survive it again it doesn’t make it any easier. So when I was told to “brush it off, it’s the internet” after sharing my struggle with friends I was upset.
How are you supposed to forget about being told by hundreds of people that I am a fat, ugly, worthless, pig? Or that I should kill myself? Or ignore the fact that I am being physically threatened? Being told that if I was ever recognized in public I would be attacked or punched in the face?
How am I supposed to feel about the fact that I did cry over the mean words that have been said to me? That I’m weak because I could not simply “brush it off”? People act as though It should not affect me. They hold onto the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” But words do hurt, they hurt a lot.
A perfect example is last night. I was out with my family and a woman randomly stopped me to tell me how beautiful I was. In the moment I was shocked. Normally I would take the compliment and have a pep in my step for the rest of the day. However, with the recent cyber bullying and the words that are being thrown at me I could not believe her and instead spent the night crying. Not able to comprehend how someone could find me beautiful with a bare face, messy hair, and at my weight.
But I am strong and will not give up. Because if I give up and let them beat me down, what is keeping them from attacking someone else? Someone who may not be as stubborn and as strong willed as me. If I don’t fight back, who will? Many victims sadly, choose to stay silent about the abuse until it’s too late. Well, I won’t let that happen.
Published by Rachel Taylor