A friend of mind had been having some struggles both personal and professionally and decided to see a life coach to help her through some difficult challenges. After three months of seeing her coach, she decided to go it alone and coach herself.
When she told me what she was doing, I thought to myself "Is that even possible?" After doing some research, I found this article from Deepak Chopra on how to coach yourself. In it, it provides some interesting suggestions on what each of us can do if we want to be our own life coach.
The first thing it suggests is to...
Consider these questions as you reflect on the present:
- What would my life look like right now to someone on the outside looking in?
- Looking at the eight basic areas of my life (e.g., career, family/relationships, health, money, spirituality, personal development, recreation, and physical environment), how would I rank my satisfaction on a scale from 1-10?
- What are the main challenges I am facing right now?
- If I could wave a magic wand and change one thing about my life, what would that be?
- What’s missing in my life right now?
- What is motivating this process of self-inquiry?
- Am I willing, in this moment, to do the work that is necessary to create a better life for myself? Why?
These are powerful questions and when I went through this exercise, I did come up with some interesting answers to them. However, as someone who has worked with a life coach, I found it difficult to gain insights or perspectives that my coach would provide to help me through some moments when I would get stuck. While asking myself these questions is a good step, I still get stuck on what to do next.
In the next part of the process, they suggested this:
Now that you’ve written about the current state of affairs, it’s time to identify where you’d like to improve. Looking over your notes so far, circle or highlight areas where you are settling, selling yourself short, or are limiting your growth. This process helps to identify the “gap” between where you are and where you want to be.
You can recognize the gaps by focusing on either side of them—identifying what you know you want to be, do, or have, or by identifying what’s not working and creating a plan to either make a change or make peace with the situation as it is.
I do find this suggestion helpful, but I still get stuck when I need to come up with some real solutions. For me, this is where having a coach is powerful because they can act as a different mind who draws upon their experience to help me work through this. I find that I spend way too much time in my head as it is and I really need someone who can help me work it out so that I am not circling in my own head.
While I do think it can be useful for all of us to learn some tools on how to be our own coach, I just don't think it can replace having a coach to work with one one one. What do you think?
Published by Sara Jane