Feeling lonely in a long distance relationship isn’t unusual. I think most of us feel lonely in our relationships at some point or another. However, It’s not always the standard pining over your other half that everyone expects when they hear the statement “long distance relationships aren’t easy.” Of course you miss them, and wish you could spend more time doing absolutely nothing other than hanging out. But feeling lonely is much deeper than that.
It’s quite a harrowing experience, because most of the time you probably don’t recognise it as loneliness. Sometimes it is a festering emptiness that you feel without the other, but other times you simply feel as if you are out of contact. And in turn, this makes you wonder if you are as close to your partner as you were just days ago when you were psychically with them. Of course, you aren’t close in proximity but you feel… disconnected. Which is a really confusing feeling when one day you are with the person you love and happier than ever, and the next you are home and you have hardly spoken to them in 5 days.
You know you aren’t alone – your partner is always at the other end of facebook messenger, so saying you are lonely doesn’t seem like the right word. But in reality, that is exactly how you are feeling. Recognising this is an important step in conquering the feeling. But, the dire truth of the matter is that, of course there will be times that you disconnect from your partner. You are hundreds or thousands of miles apart, and battling with time differences and work schedules that get in the way of contact. It doesn’t mean that you are less in love with them. It just means that you live miles apart and haven’t had contact in a few days.
It’s easy to doubt yourself. But the only solution to the problem is whether you can handle it. Can you cope with this feeling for another year? Another 5 months? 5 years? If you are feeling lonely right now, you probably don’t know the answer. That’s understandable, I’ve been there. When you don’t have a clear plan for the future it can be difficult to be sure of what you want. But if continuing the distance is what feels right for the moment, continue on, see where your path will take you. Otherwise, it might be time to decide your fate.
Published by Sarah Shields