I Found Joy in the Morning and I Cried

This morning was a shift in energy for me. It's a cold, cold, snowy morning-something I love! I actually worked out again. I felt like somewhere in my soul my healthy self was rejoicing in this forward movement. As I smiled, I took a few shirts, that don't fit well, out of my closet and stacked them up to be a reward for when I lose weight that I've gained in my comfort eating. In the process, I pulled out a royal blue (in Kentucky and with my Kathryn, we call it a Kentucky blue) cardigan from the Gap that my sister gave me after Kathryn passed away. I have never worn it. I truly haven't seen it. But this morning I not only saw it, I put it on and thought of Kathryn and Jonathan and smiled with joy and love.

As I felt the strength of the gratitude for this wonderful, tender mercy, I thought of a very special ring that my sister gave to me (and I wrote about earlier) which I lost months ago. I thought, "I should call Julie and find out where she got my anchor ring because I just can't live without it any longer." As I was thinking that, I looked in a purse I have use several times over the last few months and there it was! You may think this is small but for my grieving heart, it's so many little moments of love, sacrifice, and tender mercies that strengthen me.

During these moments I had my "inspiring" music playlist playing. And these are the songs that were playing: He'll Carry You by Hilary Weeks, Savior, Redeemer of My Soul by Gabriel Bonilla, The Prayer with David Archuleta & Nathan Pacheco, Baba Yetu (The Lord's Prayer in Swahili) by Alex Boyle. And as I knelt down to thank my Heavenly Father for His love for me, I sobbed as I listened to My Little Prayer by David Archuleta.

As I sobbed on my knees, I only got as far as, "Dear Heavenly Father, thank you so very much for your love for me. Thank you for these blessings. . ." And then I felt him. I had our son Jonathan right there warming my hear and he was even singing with the music and putting his loving hand on my back. I felt his strong, kind, love as he thanked me. I will treasure this 3 minutes of warmth  and connection between me and my magnificent son thanks to my Father in Heaven.

In the middle of a normal, cold snowy morning, 2 simple tender mercies turned into a life's treasure and I did sob-and  with the warmth of love overflowing in the corner of our bedroom with a 5 year old wanting to play in the snow. You have to be fast sometimes, right Jonathan? Right Heavenly Father? Well, I am wiping my eyes and gathering my boots now. Time to take my full heart and play in the snow. I cherish every single moment.

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